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Noxic

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Noxic

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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 12393
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 60 posted

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Noxic's page activity

Visits<b>ch2358</b> - the 11/21/2009 at 11:30pm<b>Jerhel</b> - the 11/13/2009 at 7:24pm<b>Darkodar</b> - the 11/11/2009 at 5:11pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 09/08/2009 at 2:50pm<b>prplr</b> - the 09/05/2009 at 6:10pm

Noxic's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Noxic's favorite FMLs

Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

#7293990
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25461) - you deserved it (8120)

On 01/12/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by cold-n-stinky (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I read through my phone, hoping there weren't any drunk texts by me from the night before. Apparently I dirty texted everyone, even my boss. FML

#7255903
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6133) - you deserved it (34122)

On 01/10/2010 at 10:11am - misc - by ishouldntdrink (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML

#7231938
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12210) - you deserved it (30443)

On 01/09/2010 at 5:12am - misc - by Face (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading "Protect Your Nuts". My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then punched me in the balls. FML

#7227808
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10049) - you deserved it (37575)

On 01/09/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by squirrel (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML

#7225857
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18123) - you deserved it (5077)

On 01/08/2010 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out the best way to communicate with my boyfriend, who is obsessed with farmville, is by placing a "sign post" on his farm. Not sending text, email, or calling, but placing a message on his imaginary farm. FML

#7222174
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26395) - you deserved it (3805)

On 01/08/2010 at 7:10pm - love - by farmvillefail (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was watching Star Wars : Attack of the Clones, and Yoda was using the force to move a heavy object. While in the middle of my loungeroom, I instinctively put my hand up to use the force to help him, infront of my father and sister. My sister will never let me live it down. FML

#7212401
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6855) - you deserved it (34587)

On 01/08/2010 at 2:56am - misc - by Fuzzy (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

Today, I was going to the bathroom. As I was about to wipe, I noticed that the toilet paper had butterflies printed on it. Never before had I felt bad for wiping my ass. FML

#7196823
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7950) - you deserved it (25220)

On 01/07/2010 at 9:43am - misc - by Doomy (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was playing around on Photo Booth, using weird effects on pictures of myself. I clicked on one and thought to myself that it was a really ugly effect. Then I noticed that it was set on normal. FML

#7183018
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16921) - you deserved it (22473)

On 01/06/2010 at 4:05pm - misc - by ugly5402 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML

#7179468
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46206) - you deserved it (2172)

On 01/06/2010 at 9:55am - misc - by driver (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a blind date that my best friend had set up for me. When I arrived, I introduced myself and we sat at the table. After we ordered our food, he asked the waiter for some crayons and a kid's menu, and colored for the half hour before our food came. He didn't talk to me at all. FML

#7169187
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27419) - you deserved it (3475)

On 01/05/2010 at 8:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was watching Free Willy with my boyfriend. It was at the part where the boy leaned into the water to give Willy a hug. I asked, "How do you even hug a whale?" My boyfriend rolled over and gave me a hug, and said, "Like this." FML

#7165792
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36406) - you deserved it (12967)

On 01/05/2010 at 5:03pm - love - by leigh2812 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the lights off. It was 1AM, and I'd just finished watching a scary movie, so I was a little paranoid. I was about to fall asleep, when an eerie light lit the room. I jumped, got tangled in the sheets, and hit my head against the bed frame. Where'd the light come from? Not a space ship. Not someone breaking in. It was my phone. FML

#7124695
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8169) - you deserved it (24504)

On 01/03/2010 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized that I have been playing a little too much Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. I realized this when I was watching a youtube video and there was someone walking in the background who I impulsively tried to gun down and kill by moving my mouse over him and clicking repeatedly. FML

#7096414
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6143) - you deserved it (32000)

On 01/02/2010 at 1:17am - misc - by Laughluv (man) - United States (California)



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