Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Noxic

Search for a member

Noxic

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11593
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 60 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Noxic's page activity

Visits<b>ch2358</b> - the 11/21/2009 at 11:30pm<b>Jerhel</b> - the 11/13/2009 at 7:24pm<b>Darkodar</b> - the 11/11/2009 at 5:11pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 09/08/2009 at 2:50pm<b>prplr</b> - the 09/05/2009 at 6:10pm

Noxic's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Noxic's favorite FMLs

Today, after a 9 hour train journey through the Polish mountains, I mistook a small black and white cat for a penguin. FML

#7753141
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5893) - you deserved it (22440)

On 01/31/2010 at 7:21pm - animals - by saintmichi (woman) - Poland (Malopolskie)

Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I peed myself. FML

#7736774
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32103) - you deserved it (12338)

On 01/31/2010 at 5:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was in the car with my cousin and we saw a family of three. They where all really fat and the lady was holding 2 boxes of pizza. I decided to roll down the window and scream "fatasses" as loud as I could while my cousin drove off. They were going to the same house we were. FML

#7732891
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6190) - you deserved it (82666)

On 01/31/2010 at 2:03am - misc - by lauris1306 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there, someone put a gun to the back of my head and told me to give him all my money. As I slowly turned around, I saw it was my dad putting a banana to my head. FML

#7700878
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34233) - you deserved it (4993)

On 01/30/2010 at 8:16am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

#7698820
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10897) - you deserved it (31869)

On 01/30/2010 at 3:47am - misc - by Wowsers. (woman) - United Kingdom (Blackpool)

Today, I went to a camp my friend invited me to, thinking we'd just be roasting marshmallows all day and hanging out outside. Nope. It was a soul searching, get closer to Jesus camp. The first five hours were spent repeatedly praying and singing. I'm not a Christian. FML

#7668183
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32212) - you deserved it (9355)

On 01/29/2010 at 6:22am - misc - by purple - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mum got upset with me for getting my first hangover ever after being of legal drinking age for over 6 years. She is a closet alcoholic in denial who hides red wine bottles around the house. FML

#7663968
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26017) - you deserved it (2766)

On 01/29/2010 at 12:49am - health - by mirrorfad - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was working at IHOP serving a table full of drunk idiots. After an hour of taking care of them I went to clean up their mess to find the tip they had left me. On a napkin a girl had wrote "Here's your tip for the night: Don't play leap frog with unicorns." FML

Today, I went out on a date with a guy significantly older than myself. I told him I really liked him because I can have an intelligent conversation with him, unlike most guys my age. He told me he just wanted to get into my pants. FML

#7638803
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27252) - you deserved it (9733)

On 01/28/2010 at 8:59am - love - by thisucks (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML

#7637016
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8048) - you deserved it (37107)

On 01/28/2010 at 5:24am - misc - by wishihadpockets (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, some girl from Colorado called me. She knew my name. My Facebook. I had no idea how she got my number. She then asks me out. I say "sure" sarcastically. She then calls my girlfriend, who also lives in Colorado. Our relationship is now over. FML

#7598388
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10878) - you deserved it (33464)

On 01/26/2010 at 9:12pm - love - by Aaron (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got a call from my younger brother's school to pick him up immediately. He had a test today and had the brilliant idea that by telling everyone he had head lice, he could go home. I had to leave work to pick him up, and now I have to take him to a doctor so they can verify he can go back. FML

#7570908
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23216) - you deserved it (2139)

On 01/25/2010 at 4:24pm - kids - by joshua (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

#7556761
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16614) - you deserved it (41683)

On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was pondering the meaning of life - why I'm here, why anyone is here, why go on, and whether it's worth it... Then it hit me. The football in the head, not the meaning of life. FML

#7529834
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10107) - you deserved it (21568)

On 01/23/2010 at 9:14pm - misc - by ceedee - United States (California)

Today, I thought it would be romantic to fill my girlfriend's room with scented candles and surprise her when she was done showering. I lied there naked, with Kenny G playing softly. I heard a knock on the door, so I told her to come in. To my surprise it was her mom. FML

#7492284
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8573) - you deserved it (19292)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Toldyouso (man) - United States (Nevada)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: