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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I woke up to find that my dog was missing. I spent about an hour searching for him when my psycho ex-girlfriend texted me his photo. She'd kidnapped him. After driving over there, she shot paintballs at my car. Now I have no dog and a colorful car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82005) - you deserved it (5313)
On 02/24/2009 at 10:21pm - animals - by sammatthews2007 (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I came to school late because I had to drop off my daughter at school. When I got on campus, the security told me I was late but I said, "Oh no, I work here." and he said, "Oh like I haven't heard that one before." And he took me to detention. My boss, the Principal, had to bail me out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36724) - you deserved it (2047)
On 02/21/2009 at 6:22am - work - by Lily (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went bowling with my mom and she paid for 2 games. By the 6th frame of game 1 she was bored and to get her money back for both games she told the employees I shit my pants. I'm 17. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45965) - you deserved it (2630)
On 02/19/2009 at 4:47pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I dropped my 400 dollar iphone, that's been through toilets and 6 foot falls, on a walmart floor and shattered the screen. I managed, however, to catch the 2 dollar macaroni and cheese before it hit the ground. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14980) - you deserved it (22220)
On 02/17/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by noname (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (178171) - you deserved it (61489)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the airport, about to listen to Disney's Camp Rock soundtrack on my iPhone. I pressed play, only to realize that my headphones weren't plugged in all the way. Everone sitting near me heard Joe Jonas' voice coming from my phone. I am 40 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8326) - you deserved it (50420)
On 02/16/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by Italian_Stallion (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was at a fraternity party, and one of the hosts said over the loudspeaker "turn to the person next to you and picture them naked, then drink a beer if the mental image disturbs you". I turned, only to be face-to-face with my ex-boyfriend. He drank two beers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28868) - you deserved it (3984)
On 02/15/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I accidentally kicked a child down a set of steps. I work in a kids play area. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11058) - you deserved it (20947)
On 02/11/2009 at 6:59am - misc - by Crog (man) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)
Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8813) - you deserved it (61008)
On 02/10/2009 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by JLoistheBomb (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my tennis coach showed up to practice in an all white outfit. I exclaimed, "You're looking very white today!" He's African American. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7072) - you deserved it (33767)
On 02/10/2009 at 12:59am - misc - by Tennisplayer (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear ending the person in front of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4391) - you deserved it (36628)
On 02/09/2009 at 11:54pm - misc - by prettyinpurple - United States (Virginia)
Today, my mum decided that me being bisexual meant that I was "deciding whether or not to be a lesbian" because supposedly, no man will have me. Thanks mum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23613) - you deserved it (4492)
On 02/08/2009 at 7:01pm - misc - by lil_munchkinjen (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, my best friend told me she wanted to rape my throat. I did not know that was possible. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17855) - you deserved it (3811)
On 02/08/2009 at 3:04am - misc - by N (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I played games on Barbie.com and gave up after 10 minutes. They were hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7452) - you deserved it (28253)
On 02/07/2009 at 10:19pm - misc - by lilzoot (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41710) - you deserved it (13989)
On 02/04/2009 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by PlayTag (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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