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Noxic

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Noxic
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9892
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 60 posted

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Noxic's favorite FMLs

Today, I went bowling with my mom and she paid for 2 games. By the 6th frame of game 1 she was bored and to get her money back for both games she told the employees I shit my pants. I'm 17. FML

#79689
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50072) - you deserved it (3077)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:47pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I dropped my 400 dollar iphone, that's been through toilets and 6 foot falls, on a walmart floor and shattered the screen. I managed, however, to catch the 2 dollar macaroni and cheese before it hit the ground. FML

#60521
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16507) - you deserved it (25707)

On 02/17/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by noname (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
496 comments

I agree, your life sucks (213606) - you deserved it (73279)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the airport, about to listen to Disney's Camp Rock soundtrack on my iPhone. I pressed play, only to realize that my headphones weren't plugged in all the way. Everone sitting near me heard Joe Jonas' voice coming from my phone. I am 40 years old. FML

#54346
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10214) - you deserved it (59978)

On 02/16/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by Italian_Stallion (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a fraternity party, and one of the hosts said over the loudspeaker "turn to the person next to you and picture them naked, then drink a beer if the mental image disturbs you". I turned, only to be face-to-face with my ex-boyfriend. He drank two beers. FML

#47156
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31277) - you deserved it (4447)

On 02/15/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I accidentally kicked a child down a set of steps. I work in a kids play area. FML

#24461
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12833) - you deserved it (25060)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:59am - misc - by Crog (man) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML

#21808
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8992) - you deserved it (62157)

On 02/10/2009 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by JLoistheBomb (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my tennis coach showed up to practice in an all white outfit. I exclaimed, "You're looking very white today!" He's African American. FML

#19641
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8418) - you deserved it (37059)

On 02/10/2009 at 12:59am - misc - by Tennisplayer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear ending the person in front of me. FML

#19361
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5261) - you deserved it (44029)

On 02/09/2009 at 11:54pm - misc - by prettyinpurple - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mum decided that me being bisexual meant that I was "deciding whether or not to be a lesbian" because supposedly, no man will have me. Thanks mum. FML

#15620
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24170) - you deserved it (4545)

On 02/08/2009 at 7:01pm - misc - by lil_munchkinjen (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, my best friend told me she wanted to rape my throat. I did not know that was possible. FML

#14570
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21276) - you deserved it (4476)

On 02/08/2009 at 3:04am - misc - by N (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I played games on Barbie.com and gave up after 10 minutes. They were hard. FML

#14117
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9174) - you deserved it (35083)

On 02/07/2009 at 10:19pm - misc - by lilzoot (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

#8816
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45209) - you deserved it (16102)

On 02/04/2009 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by PlayTag (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML

#7193
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36517) - you deserved it (1757)

On 02/04/2009 at 2:53am - animals - by RustyBulletHole - United States (Illinois)

Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers. I as walked out of the club, I noticed it was tranny-night. FML

#5857
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6955) - you deserved it (34565)

On 02/02/2009 at 11:42pm - money - by bluntedone (man) - United States (Arizona)



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