Noxic

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Noxic

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 19368
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 60 posted

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Noxic's page activity

Visits<b>buttcrackles</b> - the 09/12/2016 at 3:51pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 8:20am<b>ch2358</b> - the 11/21/2009 at 11:30pm<b>Jerhel</b> - the 11/13/2009 at 7:24pm<b>Darkodar</b> - the 11/11/2009 at 5:11pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 09/08/2009 at 2:50pm<b>prplr</b> - the 09/05/2009 at 6:10pm

Noxic's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Noxic's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to this hot girl I have dinner with every week. Lately she’s always telling me how she loves me and I do the same. Today she said: "The way we talk and act around each other, people would think we were dating." My answer was: "Aren't we?". FML

by Nick / 03/16/2009 at 1:08am / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, I got a letter saying I was no longer a student at my college and my current work is void since I had ignored and refused to pay my tuition bill. Over the past month I've been deleting these pesky emails saying 'FINAL WARNING regarding payment' thinking it was more spam. They weren't. FML

by goddamnit / 03/13/2009 at 10:57pm / United States (Virginia) / Money

Today, my friends and I were drinking boba. On the side of the cup it said "Please drink carefully to avoid choking on the Boba". I started to laugh at the ridiculousness of the label, and choked on the boba in a coughing fit. FML

by Noname / 03/13/2009 at 12:24am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my parents if the outfit I was wearing made me look fat. My mom looked at me and paused for a while; my dad said, "Honey, that outfit doesn't make you look fat. Your fat makes you look fat." FML

by mugs / 03/12/2009 at 3:49pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

by sucks / 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, at work, I was alone in the breakroom when I got a slight pain in my belly. I thought I needed to pass gas, so I tried since no one else was in there. It wasn't gas. It was diarrhea. I'm wearing a mini skirt today. FML

by squirty_joe / 03/08/2009 at 2:37pm / United States / Work

Today, I was looking at some comments on a silly YouTube video of me dancing with some friends. Someone posted a comment saying "Girl on the right is hot!!!." Next to that, it had about 31 thumbs down. I'm the girl on the right. FML

by Ugly / 03/08/2009 at 4:47am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I bragged to a coworker that our boss compliments me constantly on my work performance, my fashion sense, and my trustworthiness. She then directed me to a "neighborhood watch" website. My boss is a registered sex offender. FML

by Kat / 03/08/2009 at 12:47am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I was driving down the road when I got to a red light. I looked over and saw a hot chick in a convertible so I spoke to my window thinking she couldn't hear me "Hey girl, I may have a tiny dick but I make up for it in speed and stamina." She looked over. I forgot about the sunroof. FML

by Smash_Mouth / 03/08/2009 at 12:36am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, "Accidents happen." She replied, "Yeah, like your birth." FML

by Cody / 03/07/2009 at 1:15pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, while out to lunch, my sister called me and asked me to pick her up from the mall. I told her she'd have to wait. She got pissed off and started cursing at me, so I hung up on her. She called me back 37 times until I answered and yelled "WILL YOU LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE?" It was my boss. FML

by jacks_smirking_revenge / 03/06/2009 at 5:31pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was writing an email to our entire company regarding a fundraiser we are taking part in for children and adults with disabilities. I was rushing to get the email out and hit send before I realized that instead of "Best Regards" I had typed "Best Retards" as the closing line. FML

by Can't Spell Worth A Damn / 03/06/2009 at 1:53pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I walked into my house to find everyone sitting around the table and looking sad. I thought it would be a good time to crack a joke and said "What's wrong? Grandma finally die?" Turns out she had. FML

by ubbernoob / 03/05/2009 at 2:33pm / United States (Arkansas) / Health