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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my crush and I were hooking up and as he slipped his hands up my shirt in order to "feel me up" he started rubbing around my whole torso. When I asked him what he was doing he replied "well I was looking for your boobs but apparently you have none" FML
I agree, your life sucks (82637) - you deserved it (6177)
On 03/22/2009 at 11:18pm - intimacy - by tinytitty (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML
I agree, your life sucks (61977) - you deserved it (8645)
On 03/21/2009 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (322665) - you deserved it (28033)
On 03/21/2009 at 3:15am - intimacy - by jilted (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my girlfriend was driving me to her house against my will when I said, "Sometimes it's annoying that you always decide where we go because you drive." She replied, "Yeah, I wish I could be more of the girl in this relationship." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9174) - you deserved it (59668)
On 03/20/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by lukey_G (man) - United States (California)
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (314480) - you deserved it (41297)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was working at Coldstone. When a customer tips us we are required to sing. A late night DJ came in, put 20 dollars in the tip cup, and asked to hear every song we had. After we sang one song he looked at me and asked me to please stop singing or he was taking his money back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49839) - you deserved it (6812)
On 03/18/2009 at 1:05am - work - by Rev (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I had a meeting with my super-hot TA. When I got to her office, she complimented me for being early, to which I thoughtfully replied "oh I usually come early." She laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45951) - you deserved it (26158)
On 03/16/2009 at 1:40pm - misc - by SmoothTalker (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I spent a solid four hours and over one hundred dollars preparing a nice fancy meal for my new girlfriend. A delicious three pound rack of ribs with a sweet and sour marinade. Steam broccoli with melted cheese. Home made buttermilk biscuits. I serve the meal. She doesn't eat beef. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23940) - you deserved it (52434)
On 03/16/2009 at 5:55am - misc - by WhatdyaDo - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was talking to this hot girl I have dinner with every week. Lately she’s always telling me how she loves me and I do the same. Today she said: “The way we talk and act around each other, people would think we were dating.” My answer was: "Aren't we?". FML
I agree, your life sucks (72576) - you deserved it (12927)
On 03/16/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by Nick (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I got a letter saying I was no longer a student at my college and my current work is void since I had ignored and refused to pay my tuition bill. Over the past month I've been deleting these pesky emails saying 'FINAL WARNING regarding payment' thinking it was more spam. They weren't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22896) - you deserved it (101887)
On 03/13/2009 at 10:57pm - money - by goddamnit (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my friends and I were drinking boba. On the side of the cup it said "Please drink carefully to avoid choking on the Boba". I started to laugh at the ridiculousness of the label, and choked on the boba in a coughing fit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10407) - you deserved it (57575)
On 03/13/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I asked my parents if the outfit I was wearing made me look fat. My mom looked at me and paused for a while, and my dad said, "honey, that outfit doesn't make you look fat. Your fat makes you look fat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (57716) - you deserved it (19178)
On 03/12/2009 at 3:49pm - health - by mugs (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (213538) - you deserved it (35578)
On 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by sucks - United States
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (471372) - you deserved it (585282)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, at work, I was alone in the breakroom when I got a slight pain in my belly. I thought I needed to pass gas, so I tried since no one else was in there. It wasn't gas. It was diarrhea. I'm wearing a mini skirt today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55363) - you deserved it (15620)
On 03/08/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by squirty_joe (woman) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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