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Noxic

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Noxic
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9973
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 60 posted

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Noxic's favorite FMLs

Today, I started growing hair on my upper lip. I'm finally becoming a man! Too bad I'm a 17 year old girl. FML

#6594462
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35590) - you deserved it (4499)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:55am - health - by harry (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, I spent 30 minutes trying to find my glasses. I don't know whats worse, the fact that I was wearing them the whole time, or that my girlfriend played along and helped me look for them. FML

#6594028
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7655) - you deserved it (21635)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by wobbles (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom admitted that her story about my dad leaving us for his current wife was a lie. He left when he caught her with a coworker. She blocked his number and got a restraining order to keep him from telling his side of the story. I haven't talked to my dad for six years because of this. FML

#6590388
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41565) - you deserved it (1634)

On 12/03/2009 at 9:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I hired a professional makeup artist to apply my makeup for a wedding. After paying her $500 for the excellent job she does, and getting dressed, I grabbed the invitation to check out the address, and it said the wedding was on December 2. Today is December 3. FML

#6586443
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10444) - you deserved it (52017)

On 12/03/2009 at 5:29pm - money - by DidntCheckTheCalendar (woman) - Kuwait

Today, I posted a note on Facebook about a weird dream I had about my ex-boyfriend, where I made out with him, then it transitioned into a vampires vs. werewolves battle. My ex private messages me and says there's a better chance of a vampires vs. werewolves battle than us ever making out again. FML

#6584536
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8177) - you deserved it (38966)

On 12/03/2009 at 2:34pm - love - by ohiochibi (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my very traditional grandmother has decided it's time for me to get married to Kevin. She's called half the town and informed them of the good news. I'm 17. I've never met Kevin. FML

#6580570
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36476) - you deserved it (1692)

On 12/03/2009 at 4:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, at work, I was forced to listen to the Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers Christmas album on repeat for 8 hours. FML

#6563904
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32054) - you deserved it (3635)

On 12/02/2009 at 2:14am - work - by makeitstop - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my parents found cigarettes in my car. After a long argument lasting over an hour, I convinced them that they weren't mine and that I don't smoke. A few minutes later, I went to work. Guess who decided to visit me during my smoke break. FML

#6556684
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5756) - you deserved it (73100)

On 12/01/2009 at 7:49pm - misc - by reptar2009 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

#6533285
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42299) - you deserved it (2694)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was riding my bike back to my house. Suddenly I was hit by something in the head. I looked down to see a lemon on the ground and looked up to see a guy yelling at me in a car that was passing. He was yelling at me because I got in the way of the house he was throwing it at. FML

#6525806
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22638) - you deserved it (2575)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Lemonhead (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I spoke with my boyfriend's crazy ex-girlfriend. Actually, she isn't all that crazy. He really did cheat on her with half a dozen other girls. The same girls he's apparently cheating on me with. How do I know for sure? Thank you crazy ex for his email passwords. FML

#6521538
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39318) - you deserved it (4354)

On 11/29/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I am lying next to my new husband. We went to Hawaii for our honeymoon and planned on spending the entire time in bed together. We succeeded in that goal, with both of us unable to leave each other's side for entire week. Sex? No. Food poisoning? Yes. FML

#6497491
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35864) - you deserved it (2586)

On 11/28/2009 at 5:03pm - health - by IndieRox (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that I'm a sleepwalker and for the past week, that dream where I was giving my roommate a blowjob was real. He just pretended it never happened. FML

#6494612
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28675) - you deserved it (4373)

On 11/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by chacha - United States

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

#6494130
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56865) - you deserved it (6108)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm - love - by IB6UB9 - United States

Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML

#6472262
388 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6749) - you deserved it (78096)

On 11/27/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by obsessed (woman) - United States (Iowa)



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