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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, while walking to work, I accidentally dropped my $400 cell phone on the sidewalk. The screen shattered into a million pieces. A woman passing by looked at the ruined phone and said, "Now that's what you call a dropped call!" She laughed and kept walking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27772) - you deserved it (14797)
On 11/04/2009 at 5:37pm - misc - by Cellismasher (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28410) - you deserved it (2606)
On 11/01/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by WasteOfTime (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I was walking in the park when I was hit on the shin by a red ball. I was confused, until it was followed by an enormous German Shepherd dog going at top speed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22214) - you deserved it (1580)
On 10/26/2009 at 12:24pm - health - by Lizofsmeg (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)
Today, I discovered I was at the same restaurant as my ex and his new girlfriend. Quickly, I picked up my mother's phone when she wasn't looking, and began to pretend to talk to a fake new boyfriend. Few seconds later, the waiter loudly asked me if I was done talking into the calculator. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6527) - you deserved it (29493)
On 10/17/2009 at 12:25pm - love - by Ohgreat (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was on cloud nine when the beautiful waitress I frequently ordered takeaways from told me she didn't need to take my name as she remembers me from before. When I got my food I saw the sales slip. On it she had written, "Cheeseburger - Fries - Coke - nerdy guy with bad haircut." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24740) - you deserved it (3886)
Today, on my break, I decided to be friendly and chat with a co-worker that everyone else always seems to avoid. He spent the next ten minutes telling me all about his abcessing sebaceous cysts. Apparently, "The scars look just like gunshot wounds." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20976) - you deserved it (4000)
On 10/07/2009 at 6:36pm - work - by loverofstrife (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was on a plane with my grandma. A cute guy sat down next to her. She asked his age. He told her he was 16. She said, "Oh, that's how old my granddaughter here is." She then turned to me and said loudly, "You should switch seats with me, he's HOT!" Well, at least Grandma loves me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30453) - you deserved it (4430)
On 10/05/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I told my daughter how her eyes look exactly as pretty as my wife's. She told me that she loved the way my eyeballs stick out of my face, just like Elmo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30516) - you deserved it (3673)
On 10/03/2009 at 8:33am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, I was on my computer when the girl that I really like instant-messages me. I went to type back, accidentally pressed control-V, and posted an entire article on how to remove genital warts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10625) - you deserved it (30752)
On 10/01/2009 at 1:58am - health - by Garrett (man) - United States (Oregon) - moderated by Kevin Nealon
Today, I had a big exam. 20 minutes in I could feel people turning round looking at me. I ignored them at first, but towards the one hour mark it got more distracting. I stood up and yelled "Why's everyone staring at me!" I got kicked out. Turns out I was seated directly in front of the clock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6602) - you deserved it (33429)
On 09/30/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by failfailfail - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my navy boyfriend, who's stationed in Italy, calls me to say he is in San Francisco and is coming to see me. After scrambling to get ready, he calls me back to say he doesn't recognize the train station. After searching on Google Maps, it becomes clear he's drunk at Oktoberfest. In Germany. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33147) - you deserved it (2397)
On 09/23/2009 at 10:47pm - love - by Spatch (woman) - United States (California)
Today, after months of enduring my neighbors relentlessly yapping schnauzer, Molly, I moved into a new building. I was greeted by my new neighbor and her yapping rat terrier, Molly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31569) - you deserved it (2678)
On 09/22/2009 at 2:10pm - misc - by bellaellaella (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32005) - you deserved it (11974)
On 09/22/2009 at 12:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, as I was walking home, three burly men suddenly began to approach me. Thinking they were going to mug me, I reached for my pocketknife and said "Stay away, I have a knife." Turns out they just wanted directions to an ice cream shop for their daughters, who were now bawling their eyes out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8880) - you deserved it (36832)
On 09/17/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by almostmugged (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went on a blind date with a guy who talked about himself in the 3rd person. Seriously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39340) - you deserved it (4622)
On 09/13/2009 at 12:15am - love - by blind_date (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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