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Not_Ever_Telling

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Not_Ever_Telling

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 May 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9979
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Not_Ever_Telling's page activity

Visits<b>xoxo_eatshit</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 2:38pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:00pm<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 03/01/2011 at 2:03pm<b>lionqueen1400</b> - the 02/14/2011 at 10:53pm<b>RLJJ</b> - the 06/30/2009 at 5:53pm<b>laplaj19</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 1:23am

Not_Ever_Telling's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Not_Ever_Telling's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40117) - you deserved it (26552) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30680) - you deserved it (19922) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I had a rude awakening after a traffic accident the day before. I'd fled the scene to avoid having to pay hefty damage fines. I would have gotten away with it too, if my license plate hadn't fallen off and incriminated me. FML

#14578612
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6913) - you deserved it (107031)

On 01/14/2011 at 2:43pm - money - by calidumbass - United States

Today, I had to point out the "no shirt, no shoes, no service" sign at my work to an extremely old, seemingly intoxicated man wearing an ill fitting speedo. FML

#14509671
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22260) - you deserved it (2114)

On 01/08/2011 at 3:35pm - work - by niiiiiiiiiikki - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was on the plane asleep. I woke up after feeling the plane jolt and I screamed at the top of my lungs. The little girl next to me told me I was a sissy. Everyone on the plane laughed. FML

#14494706
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11147) - you deserved it (26236)

On 01/07/2011 at 6:24am - kids - by G-6 -

Today, I changed my Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". The girl is made up and the picture is from Google. FML

#14480016
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11433) - you deserved it (52234)

On 01/05/2011 at 10:35pm - love - by sadlife -

Today, I hit a parked car which was sticking out in the road and practically unavoidable. I left a note on the windshield saying, "You deserved to get hit - you park like an asshole." Later I realized that the paper I tore to write on was the back of my bank statement, name and address included. FML

#14463588
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7791) - you deserved it (70831)

On 01/04/2011 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was in the elevator with my female coworker and a very attractive teen in front of us. My coworker reached out and grabbed the boobs of the teen in front of us, and blamed it on me. I got yelled at, kneed in the crotch, and punched in the face. My coworker couldn't stop laughing. FML

#14416914
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33283) - you deserved it (3396)

On 01/01/2011 at 12:06am - work - by Chris - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized that I'll have to explain to my child that mommy and daddy met on World of Warcraft. FML

#14376347
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14905) - you deserved it (48508)

On 12/29/2010 at 12:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML

#14373972
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10984) - you deserved it (50685)

On 12/28/2010 at 9:13pm - health - by ewicsmelly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML

#14345671
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10845) - you deserved it (24380)

On 12/26/2010 at 12:59pm - health - by person - Jordan (Amman Governorate)

Today, I gave my wife a $900 necklace as a special Christmas gift. She gave me a set of Star Wars pajamas. As it turns out, I was more excited to wear my gift than she was to wear hers. FML

#14330931
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27481) - you deserved it (5171)

On 12/25/2010 at 2:31am - love - by ima nerd - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was taking a leak in the mall bathroom. A kid no older than thirteen strolled in and paused next to me at the urinals. He took one look and laughed, "I feel sorry for your wife, man." All I could do was stand there as he casually disappeared into one of the stalls. FML

#14330687
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34524) - you deserved it (3928)

On 12/25/2010 at 2:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was wrapping Christmas presents for my family. I got a huge paper cut on the webbing of my fingers, the pain of which caused me to scream out loud. My whole family heard and came rushing to my room. My grandma took one look, and scoffed, "Oh suck it the fuck up, princess." FML

#14330650
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11776) - you deserved it (25882)

On 12/25/2010 at 2:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

#14330238
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28864) - you deserved it (3127)

On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)



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