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Not_Ever_Telling

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Not_Ever_Telling

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 May 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9595
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Not_Ever_Telling's page activity

Visits<b>xoxo_eatshit</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 2:38pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:00pm<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 03/01/2011 at 2:03pm<b>lionqueen1400</b> - the 02/14/2011 at 10:53pm<b>RLJJ</b> - the 06/30/2009 at 5:53pm<b>laplaj19</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 1:23am

Not_Ever_Telling's FML badges

50 favourites

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Not_Ever_Telling's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML

#14849779
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50821) - you deserved it (3746)

On 02/05/2011 at 7:02am - misc - by bob - United States (Arizona)

Today, I scraped the ice off my boss's car windows and thought it'd be funny to scrape a swastika in the ice on his roof. I didn't realize until it thawed off that it scratched it into the paint. He didn't find much humor in it and is making me pay for the damage. FML

#14836415
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6324) - you deserved it (71823)

On 02/04/2011 at 3:11am - work - by Username -

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69568) - you deserved it (6556)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I wanted to annoy my sister by playing the air horn app on my iPhone. I forgot that I had headphones in. Let's just say I quickly had to change my underwear. FML

#14797258
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8135) - you deserved it (61145)

On 02/01/2011 at 1:50pm - misc - by Brea - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML

#14790156
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47501) - you deserved it (8093)

On 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, this guy I have a huge crush on came with me to my house to study. I was warmly welcomed by my drunken mother laying naked on the floor. FML

#14779228
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33913) - you deserved it (2588)

On 01/30/2011 at 9:03pm - misc - by madelynn (woman) - United States

Today, my little brother discovered that bears can be very territorial and will pee on things to keep others away. He took this new found information to heart and peed on various things in the house that he wanted for himself, including my laptop. FML

#14774020
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32497) - you deserved it (2956)

On 01/30/2011 at 12:21pm - kids - by Joey - United States (California)

Today, while trying to act sober in front of my parents when I got home, I threw up on my mom's shoe. FML

#14755059
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7408) - you deserved it (39926)

On 01/29/2011 at 7:40am - health - by awkward drunk - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got pulled over for a traffic violation. Thinking I could get away with it, I spoke with a French accent. The officer then asked me a question in perfect French. I got a ticket. FML

#14705471
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6700) - you deserved it (48965)

On 01/25/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by nmaidkieavg -

Today, I sneaked into my girlfriend's house for some romantic time. Before going into her room, I took a dump in the bathroom. Once I was done, I not only noticed that there was no toilet paper left, but I heard her and her 6'5, heavyweight boxer, ex-marine father, talking outside the bathroom door. FML

#14673565
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9983) - you deserved it (42971)

On 01/22/2011 at 12:39pm - love - by jester777 (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, a friend and I saw some deer outside my car. Since we were both leaving for college the next day we wanted to do something memorable so we decided to chase the deer. Turns out the deer wanted to chase us too. We ran for over five minutes screaming. FML

#14670842
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6945) - you deserved it (47236)

On 01/22/2011 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML

#14647585
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31861) - you deserved it (11063)

On 01/20/2011 at 4:39am - intimacy - by saddened97 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML

#14644616
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33827) - you deserved it (7619)

On 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I broke my nose by sneezing too close to a table. FML

#14614721
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24960) - you deserved it (6881) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - health - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML

#14613102
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28036) - you deserved it (3274) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 11:46am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins



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