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Not_Ever_Telling

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Not_Ever_Telling
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 May 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 8730
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Not_Ever_Telling's favorite FMLs

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

#15619603
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70053) - you deserved it (5707)

On 04/03/2011 at 11:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized I don't know which is sadder: the fact I have detailed conversations with myself in my car, or that I bought a Bluetooth earpiece so that I can do it in public without people thinking I'm a complete lunatic. FML

#15555921
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32005) - you deserved it (24009)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:54am - health - by shelby - United States

Today, I walked into a room, where a guy was violently picking his nose. He kept picking. A very pretty girl walked in after me, and he immediately stopped and sat up straight. Apparently, I'm too ugly to motivate strangers to stop excavating their nasal cavities. FML

#15546142
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30117) - you deserved it (4690)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:12pm - misc - by uggo - United States

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52820) - you deserved it (26716)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, to make my dorm neighbours think I'm popular, I blasted music and screamed at the top of my lungs so it sounded like I was having a party. My residence manager slapped me with a noise violation, and demanded to come in to make sure we weren't drinking. I had to explain why I was by myself. FML

#15486650
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7553) - you deserved it (49258)

On 03/25/2011 at 7:05pm - misc - by freshman - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

#15426482
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44881) - you deserved it (25754)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, we were going to Disney World all the way from North Carolina. After 12 hours of driving, my kids started fighting and complaining. My husband finally said, "If I hear you guys one more time we're turning around and going back home." They annoyed him once again, and we actually went home. FML

#15381959
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46551) - you deserved it (7649)

On 03/19/2011 at 12:00pm - kids - by jaimie - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

#15333405
377 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18625) - you deserved it (86481)

On 03/16/2011 at 3:31am - intimacy - by eric - United States

Today, my husband bought a horse. We don't own any furniture, but we have a flippin' horse. FML

#15317842
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48011) - you deserved it (6233)

On 03/15/2011 at 2:01am - money - by neverthefirst -

Today, my husband bought a horse. We don't own any furniture, but we have a flippin' horse. FML

#15317842
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48011) - you deserved it (6233)

On 03/15/2011 at 2:01am - money - by neverthefirst -

Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML

#15309756
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99613) - you deserved it (5896) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2011 at 5:26pm - love - by Albert06 - France

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

#15296176
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10499) - you deserved it (53723)

On 03/13/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML

#15287588
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10136) - you deserved it (34471)

On 03/12/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML

#15264127
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28103) - you deserved it (2813)

On 03/10/2011 at 4:42pm - love - by dumped (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while stuck in a traffic jam, my son silently changed my gear to reverse. FML

#15248759
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35337) - you deserved it (6152)

On 03/09/2011 at 4:52am - kids - by Anonymous - India (Karnataka)



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