Not_Ever_Telling

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Not_Ever_Telling

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 May 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13715
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Not_Ever_Telling's page activity

Visits<b>holymacabre</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 8:24pm<b>sha17</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 2:11pm<b>xoxo_eatshit</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 2:38pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:00pm<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 03/01/2011 at 2:03pm<b>lionqueen1400</b> - the 02/14/2011 at 10:53pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 6:30am<b>RLJJ</b> - the 06/30/2009 at 5:53pm<b>laplaj19</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 1:23am

Not_Ever_Telling's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Not_Ever_Telling's favorite FMLs

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2011 at 11:14am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I realized I don't know which is sadder: the fact I have detailed conversations with myself in my car, or that I bought a Bluetooth earpiece so that I can do it in public without people thinking I'm a complete lunatic. FML

by shelby / 03/30/2011 at 12:54am / United States / Health

Today, I walked into a room, where a guy was violently picking his nose. He kept picking. A very pretty girl walked in after me, and he immediately stopped and sat up straight. Apparently, I'm too ugly to motivate strangers to stop excavating their nasal cavities. FML

by uggo / 03/29/2011 at 1:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

by dickface / 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, to make my dorm neighbours think I'm popular, I blasted music and screamed at the top of my lungs so it sounded like I was having a party. My residence manager slapped me with a noise violation, and demanded to come in to make sure we weren't drinking. I had to explain why I was by myself. FML

by freshman / 03/25/2011 at 7:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2011 at 1:54am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, we were going to Disney World all the way from North Carolina. After 12 hours of driving, my kids started fighting and complaining. My husband finally said, "If I hear you guys one more time we're turning around and going back home." They annoyed him once again, and we actually went home. FML

by jaimie / 03/19/2011 at 12:00pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

by eric / 03/16/2011 at 3:31am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML

by Albert06 / 03/14/2011 at 5:26pm / France / Love

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2011 at 10:09pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML

by dumped / 03/10/2011 at 4:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, while stuck in a traffic jam, my son silently changed my gear to reverse. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2011 at 4:52am / India (Karnataka) / Kids

Today, my friend convinced me that a staple gun doesn't work on skin. I decided to put this new piece of information to the test. FML

by ouch / 03/08/2011 at 10:50am / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, we had to discuss our heritage at school. When I told the class that I am German, Japanese, and of the Jewish faith, the teacher loudly laughs at the "irony." Something like this happens whenever I tell people my background. FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2011 at 12:18am / United States / Miscellaneous