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Not_Ever_Telling

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Not_Ever_Telling

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 May 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9890
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Not_Ever_Telling's page activity

Visits<b>xoxo_eatshit</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 2:38pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:00pm<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 03/01/2011 at 2:03pm<b>lionqueen1400</b> - the 02/14/2011 at 10:53pm<b>RLJJ</b> - the 06/30/2009 at 5:53pm<b>laplaj19</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 1:23am

Not_Ever_Telling's FML badges

50 favourites

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Consolation prize

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You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Not_Ever_Telling's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up late for a job interview. I hadn't shaved in six days, but figuring I could do so en route, I grabbed my electric razor and ran for the bus. While shaving, the razor's battery died midway through, leaving me to attend the job interview with a Miami Vice scruff on half my face. FML

#16117533
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13749) - you deserved it (32985)

On 05/10/2011 at 1:24pm - work - by scruffy (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I searched frantically for my glasses for ages. After giving up, I realised I could see perfectly. I had been wearing them the whole time and neither my mother nor my father told me because "it was far too funny" watching me yell "Where the fuck are they?" FML

#16115344
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13948) - you deserved it (42100)

On 05/10/2011 at 6:48am - misc - by Kyle (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML

#16077554
482 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14070) - you deserved it (83531)

On 05/07/2011 at 11:29am - misc - by BCBUDDY - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML

#16074104
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17783) - you deserved it (40281)

On 05/07/2011 at 12:46am - love - by littlegirl - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realized that the black leggings I wear quite often become see-through when I bend over. I have been showing the world my ass as well as my thong for over a month now. FML

#16015656
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10779) - you deserved it (51010)

On 05/02/2011 at 2:39am - misc - by ChrissySoltys (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while being robbed, a man heroically chased down the robber and got my purse back. He then looked at the distance between us, turned the other way and ran off with it. FML

#15974140
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44264) - you deserved it (3332)

On 04/29/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

#15962479
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44307) - you deserved it (4759)

On 04/28/2011 at 11:53am - animals - by Cecilly2010 -

Today, my football coach thought it would be a good idea to get drunk, run to the other sideline, and scream, "WELCOME TO SPARTA, BITCH!" This would've been funny if he weren't also my dad. FML

#15960632
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34810) - you deserved it (3719)

On 04/28/2011 at 6:28am - misc - by spartanson -

Today, my wife bought $80 worth of Glee songs on iTunes. FML

#15940298
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50714) - you deserved it (9656)

On 04/26/2011 at 9:20pm - money - by Chad - United States

Today, on a first date, I finished eating my sushi, feeling proud to have managed chopsticks so elegantly and then rubbed my eye, oblivious to the fact I had just touched some wasabi. What followed was a classy exhibition on how to jump around screeching in pain. FML

#15937673
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13471) - you deserved it (23007)

On 04/26/2011 at 6:25pm - misc - by Jyocka (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I actually heard my 14 year old son muse to himself, "If I can drive drunk in Grand Theft Auto, how hard could it be in real life?" FML

#15935332
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39068) - you deserved it (12186)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:20pm - kids - by nomorexbox - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML

#15921187
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36290) - you deserved it (18818)

On 04/25/2011 at 3:31pm - intimacy - by Ouch (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I played Angry Birds for two hours. I got so into the game, I failed to remember that I was sitting on a public toilet. I only realized this when the janitor came to check on me. FML

#15901266
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10770) - you deserved it (47855)

On 04/23/2011 at 9:02pm - animals - by bobo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I subbed for a first grade class. They were releasing butterflies. Butterflies scare me shitless. A bunch of 7 year-olds watched as I screamed hysterically when one landed on me. FML

#15661118
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19799) - you deserved it (32841)

On 04/06/2011 at 2:22am - animals - by mottephobe - United States (Utah)

Today, I found out that our neighbors told almost everyone on our street that I was mentally handicapped. All this time I wasn't sure why they would speak slowly and loudly at me. Now they won't believe me when I tell them I'm a 4.0 GPA student. FML

#15650544
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31681) - you deserved it (3155)

On 04/05/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by Imslow (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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