Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Not_Ever_Telling

Search for a member

Not_Ever_Telling

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 May 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11885
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Not_Ever_Telling's page activity

Visits<b>sha17</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 2:11pm<b>xoxo_eatshit</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 2:38pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:00pm<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 03/01/2011 at 2:03pm<b>lionqueen1400</b> - the 02/14/2011 at 10:53pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 6:30am<b>RLJJ</b> - the 06/30/2009 at 5:53pm<b>laplaj19</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 1:23am

Not_Ever_Telling's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Not_Ever_Telling's favorite FMLs

Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML

#16383481
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16408) - you deserved it (59012)

On 05/28/2011 at 5:24am - intimacy - by redhanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I made a fresh juice for a customer. He called the cops because the juice was too acidic for him. He sat in a corner and waited for two hours for them to arrive. Obviously, they didn't turn up. So he yelled at me and left. FML

#16367942
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36592) - you deserved it (2971)

On 05/27/2011 at 1:46am - work - by Alice - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw a firework show. In my kitchen. When my stove blew up. FML

#16364956
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31008) - you deserved it (3969)

On 05/26/2011 at 10:39pm - misc - by Username -

Today, it was my birthday. Some 17 year olds will receive cars as presents from their parents. Mine, however, booked me a plot in the local graveyard. FML

#16342840
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47635) - you deserved it (5030)

On 05/25/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Brilliant... (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, my AP teacher once again accused me of plagiarism. Apparently the words "demise," "ultimately," and "rural," are too sophisticated for an 11th grade AP student to use and MUST have been copied from the Internet. FML

#16311438
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47183) - you deserved it (2927)

On 05/23/2011 at 10:35am - misc - by dumbteacher -

Today, my Dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "mom". I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me something "nice". FML

#16293589
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76734) - you deserved it (4016)

On 05/22/2011 at 5:31am - misc - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom

Today, it was raining heavily. I saw a large puddle by the edge of the road near with a passing lady. Thinking it would be funny to splash her, I swerved to hit the puddle. The puddle was deeper than I thought. I lost control of the car, spun out, and hit two parked cars. FML

#16276951
516 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14104) - you deserved it (238072)

On 05/21/2011 at 2:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35670) - you deserved it (21536)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I finally found out who has been hacking my email account to send dirty messages to my teacher. My dad. FML

#16237606
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40933) - you deserved it (3601)

On 05/18/2011 at 1:13pm - misc - by Charles (man) - Norway (Akershus)

Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML

#16234467
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68587) - you deserved it (4714)

On 05/18/2011 at 3:57am - intimacy - by Jackedup (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I posted my status on Facebook as "slightly hungover." My grandma commented on it with "liar, you were helping me clean last night." She's right. FML

#16221236
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14180) - you deserved it (66585)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38999) - you deserved it (10510)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML

#16166578
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38917) - you deserved it (4372)

On 05/14/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by IhateThem - United States

Today, as a prank, a friend and I tied a 10 dollar bill to a fishing line, and yanked it away from people as they reached for it. It was going really well until one of our victims pulled a knife and chased us around the block. FML

#16144015
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14464) - you deserved it (55833)

On 05/12/2011 at 1:53pm - misc - by Jackassed - United States (New York)

Today, I wore a Super Mario Brothers T-shirt to school that showed a picture of Mario with a mushroom above his head. I got suspended for "referencing illegal drugs". FML

#16125377
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46658) - you deserved it (4818)

On 05/11/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Sola -



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: