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Not_Ever_Telling

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Not_Ever_Telling

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 May 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9541
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Not_Ever_Telling's page activity

Visits<b>xoxo_eatshit</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 2:38pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:00pm<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 03/01/2011 at 2:03pm<b>lionqueen1400</b> - the 02/14/2011 at 10:53pm<b>RLJJ</b> - the 06/30/2009 at 5:53pm<b>laplaj19</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 1:23am

Not_Ever_Telling's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Not_Ever_Telling's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, b*tch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML

#13827261
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11726) - you deserved it (49699)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while at work, I got a call. They left a voicemail. It was a 7 minute voicemail of the mattress squeaking and my mom screaming my dad's name. I am going to their house for supper tonight. FML

#13822873
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31626) - you deserved it (2610)

On 11/13/2010 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Cantbreath94 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while eating dinner with my family, I found out my boyfriend recorded me screaming while having sex with him on my phone, and set it as my ring tone on high volume. FML

#13822314
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31624) - you deserved it (5428)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss was watching taser pranks online, when he said he was going to "get me". We often take turns playing pranks on each other, and I was the last to prank him. Now I'm terrified to move or turn my back on anything other than a wall at work. FML

#13801647
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18033) - you deserved it (7819)

On 11/11/2010 at 12:46pm - work - by MrsKSB - United States (Texas)

Today, one of my husband's old college buddies came over for dinner. We reminisced about our college days, and he laughed as he told the story about my husband making up a friend, Marc Deveau, that he'd say he was visiting when he was cheating on his girlfriend. My husband still sees Marc Deveau. FML

#13798665
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58752) - you deserved it (3400) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/11/2010 at 3:40am - love - by Anonymous - France

Today, a girl who has had a problem with me for as long as I can remember, tagged me in a Facebook status update in which she equated my intelligence to that of a mollusk and equated my weight to that of a hippopotamus. My boyfriend, as well as several of my "friends," liked it. FML

#13789800
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27166) - you deserved it (3957)

On 11/10/2010 at 12:33pm - misc - by smarter than a mollusk, skinner than a hippo - United States

Today, I tried opening a can for the first time using a manual can opener. I tried for a half hour to open a can of ravioli, mutilating the can in the process. Only after watching five Youtube videos on how to use a manual can opener did I notice the pull-tab on the top of the ravioli can. FML

#13789664
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7064) - you deserved it (58581)

On 11/10/2010 at 12:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was writing my narrative essay for my English class. When I turned it in, I was really proud of what I thought I wrote. Evidently for some people listening to music while writing essays is a bad thing. My essay was filled with little bits of ZZ Top lyrics. FML

#13784109
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6328) - you deserved it (29460)

On 11/09/2010 at 11:00pm - work - by hwscrewed - United States (Texas)

Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML

#13777099
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8720) - you deserved it (31604)

On 11/09/2010 at 12:08pm - misc - by johnboy - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML

#13762266
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31047) - you deserved it (5278)

On 11/08/2010 at 5:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

#13756412
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20117) - you deserved it (58931)

On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my sixteen year old son told me that he's following his guidance counselor's advice: to do what his hero does for a living. The problem? His hero is SpongeBob Squarepants. His ambition in life is to become a fry cook. FML

#13753652
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24688) - you deserved it (4035)

On 11/07/2010 at 3:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend ditched me, saying he had some important things to do. When I checked on him a while later, I found out what was so "important". A game called Robot Unicorn Attack. FML

#13738415
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24451) - you deserved it (8775)

On 11/06/2010 at 1:24pm - love - by anonymous_0505 (woman) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, after getting out of the shower, I was in a good mood. So I decided to run around the house naked, then play air guitar while air drying, just for fun. My blinds were open, and the men in the Fedex truck in my front yard did have fun. FML

#13733539
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8346) - you deserved it (29742)

On 11/06/2010 at 12:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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