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Not_Ever_Telling

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Not_Ever_Telling

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 May 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9904
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Not_Ever_Telling's page activity

Visits<b>xoxo_eatshit</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 2:38pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:00pm<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 03/01/2011 at 2:03pm<b>lionqueen1400</b> - the 02/14/2011 at 10:53pm<b>RLJJ</b> - the 06/30/2009 at 5:53pm<b>laplaj19</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 1:23am

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50 favourites

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Not_Ever_Telling's favorite FMLs

Today, at work in a liquor store, a man came in to demand a refund because after he "drank the whole bottle of Jack" he "couldn't get it up" for his wife. He thought that alcohol was supposed to be an aphrodisiac, and blamed me personally for his "whiskey dick". FML

#17415009
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31067) - you deserved it (2673)

On 08/09/2011 at 2:24am - intimacy - by OyGeeze28 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, someone broke into my car just to steal the freshly baked cookies in the back seat. They also left a thank you note. FML

#17384157
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29107) - you deserved it (3344)

On 08/06/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by nomorecookies - United States (Missouri)

Today, I asked a guy if he could buy me a pack of cigarettes, since I'm still under 18. He took my money, went into the supermarket, and must have slipped out a side-entrance, because he never came back. FML

#17367544
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8608) - you deserved it (112552)

On 08/04/2011 at 2:28pm - money - by Joe - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally started doing cardio and getting in shape. What motivated me to do it? Watching a zombie movie. The slow ones bite the dust first. FML

#17355150
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26279) - you deserved it (7815)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:55pm - health - by indierocklove - United States (Virginia)

Today, two guys proclaiming that they were both Batman attacked me on the street. FML

#17316735
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27706) - you deserved it (3057)

On 07/31/2011 at 2:17am - health - by The Joker? - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex, and it was my first time being on top. I got so into it that when I went to put my hands on the wall for support, the shelf above my bed snapped, with my favorite little cactus falling onto his face. FML

#17294808
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36835) - you deserved it (9556)

On 07/29/2011 at 3:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, someone had the unique opportunity to be able to say to me, "Excuse me, your pants are on fire." FML

#17270186
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27014) - you deserved it (4913)

On 07/26/2011 at 5:22pm - health - by smokin (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
506 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131024) - you deserved it (7329)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, I got home from work to find my house covered in graffiti dicks, the windows smashed, the front lawn entirely ripped up, and my letter box containing dog shit. I also found a note taped to the door saying, "Suck on this Darren". Darren is my next door neighbor. FML

#17063070
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57233) - you deserved it (2894)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my sister confessed to me that she sold some of my old shirts to the girl who's stalking me. This explains why I got a note that read, "I have your scent, now I can track you." FML

#16965226
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41010) - you deserved it (2607)

On 07/03/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by beablue18 - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, my drunk brother thought I could withstand a metal chair being slammed across my back like on the wrestling shows. I guess he didn't know that the shows are fake. FML

#16964534
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28679) - you deserved it (2620)

On 07/03/2011 at 7:04pm - health - by drunkinriot - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were walking around when she got lost in a crowd. And me, being a pig, playfully grabbed her butt. I realized it wasn't hers when the guy whose butt I'd grabbed by accident knocked me unconscious. FML

#16945838
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9876) - you deserved it (41998)

On 07/02/2011 at 4:27am - misc - by camzzz - United States (Washington)

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

#16943359
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32261) - you deserved it (3127)

On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad spent a full half hour trying to convince me that Judaism is a race. FML

#16938868
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23875) - you deserved it (5820)

On 07/01/2011 at 6:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

#16936128
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35043) - you deserved it (4843)

On 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm - kids - by parenting sucks - United States (New York)



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