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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 December 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6344
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About NomNomMuffin : I'm coolio (:

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NomNomMuffin's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (39096) - you deserved it (5930)

On 12/23/2012 at 4:36pm - kids - by still had to pay (man) - Australia

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML


I agree, your life sucks (36421) - you deserved it (3928)

On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML


Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28703) - you deserved it (4100)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29571) - you deserved it (8459)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by mm (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28876) - you deserved it (2082)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)

Today, after nearly a year of headaches and fuzzy vision, I went to the eye doctor. It turns out I've had my contacts in the wrong eyes for a year. FML

Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36316) - you deserved it (2619)

On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (26860) - you deserved it (5727)

On 10/28/2012 at 12:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got fired from a job that I've had for four days for being too "secretive." Apparently, I was leaning over my notebook so that my boss couldn't stand behind me and read what I was writing. The email literally said I was "being too sneaky". They were work notes. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21992) - you deserved it (1704)

On 10/25/2012 at 2:59am - work - by TheHarvardian (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my wife confused terminology from my religion with stuff from Harry Potter. FML


I agree, your life sucks (12839) - you deserved it (19384)

On 10/21/2012 at 9:21pm - misc - by nickw177 (man) - United States

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26725) - you deserved it (3103)

On 10/18/2012 at 2:19pm - misc - by not as scarred as he should be (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML


I agree, your life sucks (81751) - you deserved it (9568)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

Today, while working at the daycare, I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours, I scooped up three human teeth, a rotten log of shit, a tire iron, a condom wrapper, and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26616) - you deserved it (2006)

On 10/07/2012 at 5:41pm - kids - by Skidmark Sally - United States (New Mexico)

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