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NoelyBear

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NoelyBear

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 19 March 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1150
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About NoelyBear : hi. i'm noel and i fail at life.

NoelyBear's page activity

Visits<b>Donnakar</b> - the 08/15/2012 at 4:15am<b>ally2103</b> - the 04/08/2012 at 4:24pm<b>swiwi</b> - the 02/12/2012 at 5:29pm

NoelyBear's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of NoelyBear's badges

NoelyBear's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my boyfriend that my fantasy was for him to eat me out on the dinner table. My boyfriend told me his was me in a Pikachu costume. FML

#4921754
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40740) - you deserved it (8160)

On 08/30/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by pokie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61325) - you deserved it (15573)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61325) - you deserved it (15573)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

#4390230
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39669) - you deserved it (10250)

On 08/08/2009 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by sandwichsex (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

#4201087
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63937) - you deserved it (14553)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was petting my cat when my new mood ring turned bright purple. I checked the piece of paper that came with the ring and saw that purple meant I was feeling "hot, sexy, and passionate." According to my ring, I'm hot for my cat. FML

#1070820
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36429) - you deserved it (12287)

On 04/17/2009 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by shutupandsmile18 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

#800425
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (277935) - you deserved it (17727)

On 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm - intimacy - by GuitarChick42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML

#721846
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (165324) - you deserved it (9754)

On 03/31/2009 at 10:17am - health - by warp_routine (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I started stroking the back of his neck with both of my hands. He told me, "Your hands are nice and smooth like my grandmother's." FML

#526932
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (93931) - you deserved it (7041)

On 03/22/2009 at 5:05am - intimacy - by trina (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

#279733
517 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52128) - you deserved it (309096)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

#206263
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26056) - you deserved it (41192)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my dad woke me up at 6 told me to take a shower and drove me to school only to say "just kidding, happy snowday!" FML

#183630
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79029) - you deserved it (11348)

On 03/02/2009 at 2:01pm - misc - by EPICfml. (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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