Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

NoelyBear

Search for a member

NoelyBear

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 19 March 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1344
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About NoelyBear : hi. i'm noel and i fail at life.

NoelyBear's page activity

Visits<b>Donnakar</b> - the 08/15/2012 at 4:15am<b>ally2103</b> - the 04/08/2012 at 4:24pm<b>swiwi</b> - the 02/12/2012 at 5:29pm

NoelyBear's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of NoelyBear's badges

NoelyBear's favorite FMLs

Today, this girl who has been stalking me for almost 7 months sent me a 12 page text comparing her love for me with her passion for cheese. FML

#17547922
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33740) - you deserved it (3246)

On 08/22/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by Say Cheese - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said "It turns him on." FML

#16945006
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44435) - you deserved it (4651)

On 07/02/2011 at 2:44am - intimacy - by beardedlady - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

#16936128
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35949) - you deserved it (4930)

On 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm - kids - by parenting sucks - United States (New York)

Today, I walked around for hours with a post-it on my back reading "I JUST HAD SEX!" My boyfriend stuck it on me. FML

#16846296
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36481) - you deserved it (7647)

On 06/25/2011 at 4:39am - intimacy - by suxx - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML

#16830910
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35467) - you deserved it (9760)

On 06/24/2011 at 6:45am - intimacy - by Eve (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I had sex with a Juggalo. FML

#16534562
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15138) - you deserved it (55653)

On 06/06/2011 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that fist pumping during sex is not romantic. FML

#16525505
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38348) - you deserved it (6107)

On 06/06/2011 at 3:44am - intimacy - by ... - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML

#16303976
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32904) - you deserved it (18330)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:33pm - kids - by Fatty1970 - United States (Florida)

Today, I got pulled over. Suspicious that I'd been drinking, the police officer made me walk a straight line and recite the alphabet. I failed both. I was completely sober. FML

Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML

#15917217
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32904) - you deserved it (6872)

On 04/25/2011 at 8:11am - misc - by wtfisthisworldcomingto -

Today, I dreamed that I was kidnapped by Charlie Sheen. FML

#15912541
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31130) - you deserved it (11517)

On 04/24/2011 at 9:10pm - misc - by woahitbechels - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML

#15903380
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33531) - you deserved it (9595)

On 04/24/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend told me he wanted to hunt Easter eggs before we have sex. I'm glad he has his priorities straight. FML

#15896515
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30563) - you deserved it (9830)

On 04/23/2011 at 10:19am - intimacy - by Grrrr! - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML

#15817034
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42453) - you deserved it (8265)

On 04/17/2011 at 1:56am - intimacy - by rastafarimon (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

#15539670
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46198) - you deserved it (15428)

On 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm - love - by ouch - United States (Arizona)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: