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NocturnalCro

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NocturnalCro

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 17 November 1981 (32 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 222
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About NocturnalCro : I rock the fuckin' house and kick some ass.

NocturnalCro's page activity

Visits<b>mcholl</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 9:02am<b>kjoule</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 4:45pm<b>draken16</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 4:16pm<b>dragonswingfaeri</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 4:08pm<b>ChaosBlitz</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 6:29pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 3:46am<b>emtman</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 6:41am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 3:01pm<b>HopelesslyCiara5</b> - the 06/01/2013 at 12:56pm<b>bigred002</b> - the 06/01/2013 at 11:26am<b>bnymets91666</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 10:07pm<b>rlfender32</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 2:44am<b>dnaandjm</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 10:24pm<b>bigbaws69</b> - the 03/12/2013 at 3:15am

NocturnalCro's FML badges

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See all of NocturnalCro's badges

NocturnalCro's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43036) - you deserved it (7340)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, I walked into my new office for the first time after receiving the promotion I've been trying for. Someone took a dump on my desk. FML

#20857349
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44637) - you deserved it (3272)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:06am - work - by DefinitelyNotDogshit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML

#20835170
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47926) - you deserved it (3791) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/13/2013 at 4:49am - kids - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

#20562056
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41032) - you deserved it (5321)

On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I figured I needed to clean my room. I ended up finding my $135 calculator that I'd accused my ex-boyfriend of selling for gas money. That's also the reason I dumped him. FML

#20539612
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9154) - you deserved it (68088)

On 03/11/2013 at 2:56pm - money - by supertango500 (woman) - United States

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

#20526564
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35387) - you deserved it (6786)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my wife mentioned that she wanted to give me a three-way. I was ecstatic, until she opened her right hand, only to reveal a 3-way lightbulb. FML

#20512105
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15816) - you deserved it (37862)

On 02/18/2013 at 12:23pm - intimacy - by phatdaddy62 (man) - United States

Today, I watched The Passion of the Christ with my girlfriend. She kept scoffing at what she called the "historical inaccuracies", and actually tried to convince me that Hitler killed Jesus. When I corrected her, she looked at me, mouth agape, as if I was insane. FML

#20498635
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31506) - you deserved it (4634)

On 02/08/2013 at 7:44pm - love - by and she doesn't even give bjs (man) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML

#19109077
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24855) - you deserved it (2472)

On 02/18/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by district12 (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

#19059244
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9708) - you deserved it (73917)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States

Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML

#17067732
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13288) - you deserved it (52188)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm - kids - by dummy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I got excited because a snowman I had built lasted a whole week, which is uncommon in my mild climate area. I thought myself lucky, and that my life was turning around. Then I realized how lame my whole train of thought was. FML

#8791627
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17971) - you deserved it (7154)

On 03/03/2010 at 1:10am - misc - by JoshuaRob - United States

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

#7773873
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (106321) - you deserved it (12439)

On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

#2738282
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (108375) - you deserved it (4838)

On 06/09/2009 at 9:36am - intimacy - by SleepyKirsty (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend. I called him and started yelling at him over the phone. He told me that if I wanted to end the relationship I should just hang up the phone right then. Before I could say I still love him and don't want to break up, my phone battery died. FML

#2228533
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97644) - you deserved it (23432)

On 05/24/2009 at 12:14am - love - by noboyfriend (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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