NoctisLiberi

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NoctisLiberi

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4337
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About NoctisLiberi : College student. Bilingual. Random.

Love Reddit's /r/NoSleep

~ engaged ~

NoctisLiberi's page activity

Visits<b>iOceanus</b> - the 01/17/2013 at 4:46am<b>dieselwrench4</b> - the 01/17/2013 at 2:21am<b>tmx90</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 10:38pm<b>ydi_4_suking</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 8:19pm<b>hayhay2301</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 7:42pm<b>CoolBreezeKing</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 7:18pm<b>washingtonb</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 7:02pm<b>DudeEvil</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 6:26pm<b>kimj356</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 1:20pm<b>Bengals8807</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 1:01pm<b>bushyyboy</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 11:46am<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 12:04am<b>pistolpete85</b> - the 01/15/2013 at 6:14pm<b>qvhkrmcl</b> - the 01/15/2013 at 2:48pm<b>JefftheRipper</b> - the 01/14/2013 at 9:42pm

NoctisLiberi's FML badges

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Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of NoctisLiberi's badges

NoctisLiberi's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

by BadIdea / 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm / France / Intimacy

Today, I cut myself while shaving my globes. My girlfriend now refuses to stop teasing me about being "fisted by Edward Scissorhands." FML

by still learning / 02/26/2012 at 12:42pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2012 at 12:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, after a twelve week dry spell followed by an eight week one, I decided to take a bit more initiative at seducing my girlfriend. Not only was she "not in the mood" again, but she offered me Trident Layers gum instead. She apparently thought that it was a fair trade. FML

by dasnich / 02/04/2012 at 10:46pm / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

by anon / 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend informed me that my vagina reminds him of ham. But that's okay, because ham is his favorite food. FML

by thankzbabe / 01/04/2012 at 7:32am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML

by atleese / 12/31/2011 at 10:37am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

by John W. / 10/12/2011 at 8:37am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML

by Spooked / 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, after several hours of trying to get my triplet daughters to go to bed, they finally fell asleep. Exhausted, I went to the bathroom so I could go to bed. Not thinking about it, I dropped the toilet seat down rather loudly and flushed the toilet. All three girls woke up crying. FML

by sigh... / 06/25/2010 at 2:44am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML

by poopshooter101 / 06/30/2009 at 7:53am / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML

by zero_minded12 / 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

by The Sbeak / 02/13/2009 at 10:54am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, my cat, who is very 'don't-ever-touch-me', jumped up next to me as if she wanted to be stroked. In reality, she wanted to share a hellish fart. I need a new cat. FML

by pretty princess / 02/01/2009 at 3:55am / United States (Georgia) / Animals