NoctisLiberi

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NoctisLiberi

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3712
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About NoctisLiberi : College student. Bilingual. Random.

Love Reddit's /r/NoSleep

~ engaged ~

NoctisLiberi's page activity

Visits<b>iOceanus</b> - the 01/17/2013 at 4:46am<b>dieselwrench4</b> - the 01/17/2013 at 2:21am<b>tmx90</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 10:38pm<b>ydi_4_suking</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 8:19pm<b>hayhay2301</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 7:42pm<b>CoolBreezeKing</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 7:18pm<b>washingtonb</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 7:02pm<b>DudeEvil</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 6:26pm<b>kimj356</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 1:20pm<b>Bengals8807</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 1:01pm<b>bushyyboy</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 11:46am<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 12:04am<b>pistolpete85</b> - the 01/15/2013 at 6:14pm<b>qvhkrmcl</b> - the 01/15/2013 at 2:48pm<b>JefftheRipper</b> - the 01/14/2013 at 9:42pm

NoctisLiberi's FML badges

Socialite

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Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of NoctisLiberi's badges

NoctisLiberi's favorite FMLs

Today, while getting pretty intimate with my newlywed wife in the car, a cop turned his lights on. As he was walking up, I was trying to get my pants back on but they wouldn't fit over my knees. The cop just laughed and walked away. Turns out my wife had my pants on and I was trying to put hers on. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2012 at 5:37pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and learn about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2012 at 12:38pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML

by shelby124 / 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, after sex, my boyfriend and I lay in bed for a couple of hours just chatting. This would have been lovely. However, his topic of choice for post-coital pillow talk was his theory about how Chewbacca is secretly the leader of the Rebel Alliance. It actually made sense. FML

by cl4ptp / 08/14/2012 at 8:17am / United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The) / Intimacy

Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2012 at 1:33am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been in love with for the past two years. Five minutes in, he passed out on top of me from a pain pill overdose and had a mini seizure. He finally woke up and groans, "Those bastards! They confiscated my clothes!" FML

by Lucy / 07/21/2012 at 3:40am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. We were under the covers, and my little brother thought we were wrestling, so he got on top of the covers and started "wrestling" with us. FML

by Leyla / 07/14/2012 at 3:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2012 at 2:40am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2012 at 6:03am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML

by Brax / 05/30/2012 at 5:46am / United States / Intimacy

Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2012 at 1:46am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while putting on a load of laundry, I squeezed the detergent bottle and it made a noise like a woman's orgasm. After laughing, I realised that I'm probably too immature to be washing my own clothes. FML

by mmmtortilla / 04/24/2012 at 10:03am / Spain (Pais Vasco) / Intimacy

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

by Brian / 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm / United States (Washington) / Love