NoctisLiberi

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NoctisLiberi

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4407
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About NoctisLiberi : College student. Bilingual. Random.

Love Reddit's /r/NoSleep

~ engaged ~

NoctisLiberi's page activity

Visits<b>iOceanus</b> - the 01/17/2013 at 4:46am<b>dieselwrench4</b> - the 01/17/2013 at 2:21am<b>tmx90</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 10:38pm<b>ydi_4_suking</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 8:19pm<b>hayhay2301</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 7:42pm<b>CoolBreezeKing</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 7:18pm<b>washingtonb</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 7:02pm<b>DudeEvil</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 6:26pm<b>kimj356</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 1:20pm<b>Bengals8807</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 1:01pm<b>bushyyboy</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 11:46am<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 12:04am<b>pistolpete85</b> - the 01/15/2013 at 6:14pm<b>qvhkrmcl</b> - the 01/15/2013 at 2:48pm<b>JefftheRipper</b> - the 01/14/2013 at 9:42pm

NoctisLiberi's FML badges

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Judgmental

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I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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NoctisLiberi's favorite FMLs

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML

by wtf / 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm / United States / Health

Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML

by Bonding_boys / 12/17/2012 at 11:21am / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2012 at 6:02pm / Ireland (Waterford) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my new girlfriend is a screamer. This would normally turn me on, except she sounds like she's being murdered with a rusty fork. FML

by Dontwaketheneighbors / 12/06/2012 at 9:24am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML

by me. / 12/01/2012 at 9:54am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML

by fabs1171 / 11/29/2012 at 12:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation

Today, I was watching a video from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions, and I noticed that one of the boys in the film looked strangely like my dad when he was younger. After a little investigation, I now know that in his youth, my dad had a crippling masturbation problem. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2012 at 4:04pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy

Today, in a state of extreme boredom, I decided to dress my 6-month-old son in girl's clothes. As he sat in my lap in a frilly dress, and as I was placing a very pink and lacy bow on his head, my mother-in-law unexpectedly walked in. She now thinks I'm mentally unstable and should be in therapy. FML

by ekm86 / 11/26/2012 at 11:52am / United States (Oregon) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I heard a teenage boy ask his friend, "So, is it, like, November in Australia too?" This is the future of America. FML

by toritoratora / 11/26/2012 at 12:27am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I caught my teenage daughter smoking, and tried calmly explaining to her that it's quite bad for her health. She replied with, "It doesn't harm you if you're under 20." FML

by RyanJarmanForPresident / 11/23/2012 at 4:07am / United States / Kids

Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML

by anon / 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, the car in front of me in the drop-off area at my son's school parked, and the driver got out. I basically leaned on my horn and gave her every dirty look in the book. She said nothing but stared at me as she opened the back of her van to unload her child's wheelchair. I'm an asshole. FML

by AHole / 11/21/2012 at 9:03am / United States (North Dakota) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

by wow babe / 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML

by besviken / 11/18/2012 at 5:53pm / Sweden (Uppsala Lan) / Intimacy

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

by thanks, fuckface / 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy