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NoCumforYou

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  • Number of visits : 485
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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NoCumforYou's FML badges

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Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

NoCumforYou's favorite FMLs

Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML

#13937569
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33172) - you deserved it (7583)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by painfulintercourse - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

#13661699
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63922) - you deserved it (9096)

On 10/31/2010 at 9:30am - intimacy - by Tai - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

#13481200
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37984) - you deserved it (7989)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I witnessed my girlfriend scratch her crotch and then sniff her fingers. FML

#12817288
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39440) - you deserved it (12401)

On 08/30/2010 at 3:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML

#12474079
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43321) - you deserved it (3308)

On 08/12/2010 at 8:02am - intimacy - by ScarredEars - United States

Today, I had to explain to my son that his dad was too busy in a raid on World of Warcraft to be at his award ceremony. FML

#7816615
488 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47202) - you deserved it (36938)

On 02/02/2010 at 3:30pm - kids - by fuckmylife (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my Marine friend got back from his tour of duty overseas. We went out for drinks to celebrate his return. His own form of celebration was to pick a fight with a returning Navy SEAL and his friends. We lost. Badly. FML

#5222087
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29273) - you deserved it (12810)

On 09/13/2009 at 2:17am - health - by beaten (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my best friend informed me that I could not be her maid of honour because I "wasn't as pretty as the other bridesmaids" and she wanted her wedding photos to have "consistency". FML

#4914313
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50797) - you deserved it (3394)

On 08/29/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by deadmedia (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML

#4574797
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70157) - you deserved it (10535)

On 08/16/2009 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to come back home early from my holidays. Why? I had asked my grandmother to water my plants, some of which are illegal. Instead of doing it herself, she asked her neighbor... who is a cop. FML

#4330771
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20581) - you deserved it (112826)

On 08/06/2009 at 8:27am - misc - by Cowan - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

#4070299
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52129) - you deserved it (14223)

On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

#2612293
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30020) - you deserved it (74741)

On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML

#329882
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26709) - you deserved it (288466)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:30pm - misc - by SwedishBozo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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