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NoCumforYou

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  • Number of visits : 487
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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NoCumforYou's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

NoCumforYou's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the store to pick up some tampons. After waiting in line for about 10 minutes, the male cashier looked at me when I was leaving and said, "Have a nice... week!" FML

#18023767
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30643) - you deserved it (4572)

On 10/19/2011 at 3:36pm - misc - by sarah (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I noticed how big my brother's package is. If it hadn't been for the fact that my family has taken up walking around naked half the day, I never would have had to. FML

#17594618
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31036) - you deserved it (3712)

On 08/27/2011 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML

#17381048
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30006) - you deserved it (3766)

On 08/05/2011 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by moonstone15 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML

#17334283
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11696) - you deserved it (65518)

On 08/01/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that fist pumping during sex is not romantic. FML

#16525505
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38282) - you deserved it (6100)

On 06/06/2011 at 3:44am - intimacy - by ... - Australia (Queensland)

Today, Twilight once again won all the awards at MTV, beating out Inception, Toy Story 3, Harry Potter, etc. This is MY generation. FML

#16524791
575 comments

I agree, your life sucks (96918) - you deserved it (10720)

On 06/06/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by KillMeNow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML

#16126147
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60933) - you deserved it (4746)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:17am - intimacy - by Chels (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I confided to my dad that since the recent breakup with my boyfriend of 3 months, I feel down all the time and life doesn't feel worth living anymore. His loving advice was for me to "grow the fuck up and get your sentimental head out of la-la land." FML

#16092460
525 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19620) - you deserved it (66281)

On 05/08/2011 at 3:21pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML

#16077554
482 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14227) - you deserved it (84072)

On 05/07/2011 at 11:29am - misc - by BCBUDDY - United States (Florida)

Today, my identical twin sister got in trouble for sneaking out of the house to see her boyfriend. My father decided to ground both of us, because it would be "too confusing" for him otherwise. FML

#16057937
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58978) - you deserved it (4664)

On 05/05/2011 at 5:04pm - kids - by Monika (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my football coach thought it would be a good idea to get drunk, run to the other sideline, and scream, "WELCOME TO SPARTA, BITCH!" This would've been funny if he weren't also my dad. FML

#15960632
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34852) - you deserved it (3721)

On 04/28/2011 at 6:28am - misc - by spartanson -

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

#15883377
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80653) - you deserved it (6032)

On 04/22/2011 at 7:11am - intimacy - by Damian -

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912
491 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34686) - you deserved it (48664)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)

Today, I have a condition that, when I pull my foreskin back, it looks as if a rubber band has been put on it. The doctor told me the only way to fix it was to have me circumcised. My mum laughed, then asked him if he had a magnifying lens to do it. FML

#15000318
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37749) - you deserved it (4430)

On 02/16/2011 at 7:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

#14794923
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36313) - you deserved it (4801)

On 02/01/2011 at 8:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States



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