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Today, I threw a party at my girlfriend's house before her parents came home from vacation. After the party, I found all of her mom's favorite wine glasses broken. I spent $500 on new glasses, and wrote a huge apology for the party and the damage. She got home and told me that they were already broken. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10642) - you deserved it (23680)
On 07/30/2010 at 12:26am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I came home to my boyfriend wearing one of my pads on his hand, because he didn't want to pay to go to the hospital for stitches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23068) - you deserved it (2818)
On 07/21/2010 at 9:52am - health - by blank - United States
Today, I found out what cat food tastes like mixed with mayo, hot sauce, and between two perfectly toasted pieces of rye bread. My cat found out what tuna tastes like instead of her normal food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8443) - you deserved it (22613)
On 06/19/2010 at 12:27pm - animals - by kasai_x0x (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I got a bird as a pet. I thought it would be funny to put it on my head and take a picture. When the flash went off the bird flew off my head and pooped at the same time. You could see it in the picture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8490) - you deserved it (29865)
On 06/15/2010 at 12:58pm - love - by Keaton - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. While I was asleep, he drew a face on my stomach and when I woke up he was talking to it. He said it would be less weird if he was talking to my stomach with a face on it, representing the baby. According to him, our child is going to have a mustache. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14728) - you deserved it (18240)
On 06/14/2010 at 7:13pm - kids - by gibsonSG323 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was at a public pool. A very fat kid yelled, "Cannon Ball!" He jumped right on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39340) - you deserved it (3049)
On 06/10/2010 at 3:59pm - misc - by Collin - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I couldn't sleep because I had the worst time positioning myself around my cat who was sleeping in my bed. I couldn't kick my cat out of bed because I earlier today had an argument with my brother over which of us the cat loved more. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5993) - you deserved it (27472)
On 05/28/2010 at 12:30am - animals - by Teresa (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when her cat attacked me. I was pissed, so I grabbed the cat and rushed outside to get rid of it. Little did I know, her parents were home, sitting outside. So I was naked, with a feral cat in front of my junk trying to kill me. All I could say was "Nice Weather?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (16021) - you deserved it (25240)
On 05/25/2010 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13908) - you deserved it (18553)
On 05/23/2010 at 5:21am - misc - by Oops (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was home alone. It was very dark and so I went to turn on the lights, when I heard the sound of a gun loading. I dropped to the floor but never heard a gun fire. I got up and heard the sound again. When I got lights on, I discovered it was only my printer telling me it was out of paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6464) - you deserved it (14948)
On 03/07/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by OhaiiKid (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29265) - you deserved it (5986)
On 02/15/2010 at 10:21am - love - by Ashlee - United States
Today, I'm in the hospital because I sliced my leg open. Why? I jumped off my bed and scratched myself on the metal bed frame when Miss America was crowned to Miss Virginia. I'm 20 years old, and a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5221) - you deserved it (21050)
On 01/31/2010 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5982) - you deserved it (27087)
On 01/28/2010 at 5:24am - misc - by wishihadpockets (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I found out that my anxiety disorder has escalated to where I now scratch and pick at my face while asleep. Now I get to sleep with oven mitts taped to my hands. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22017) - you deserved it (1887)
On 01/15/2010 at 7:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, I received a phone call from my son's school. Apparently, for the past week he has been telling everyone "mummy works as a drug dealer." I'm a pharmacist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25045) - you deserved it (2243)
On 01/15/2010 at 2:56am - kids - by iKaite (woman) - United Kingdom
Sunday 12 May 2013
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