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Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15720) - you deserved it (21464)
On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -
Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14166) - you deserved it (27352)
On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -
Today, I told my mother I have a girlfriend. Her first answer was "Does she know?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (30822) - you deserved it (3731)
On 04/05/2011 at 8:00pm - misc - by notacreeper -
Today, I went up to a girl at a bus stop and started chatting her up. Her response? "Am I being robbed?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23991) - you deserved it (5211)
On 04/04/2011 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Mozambique (Maputo)
Today, I was giving a strip tease over Skype to my boyfriend. My mom walked in mid-way through, took a long look at me, said hi to my boyfriend, and walked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12614) - you deserved it (34367)
On 04/02/2011 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by lovely321 (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22399) - you deserved it (3257)
On 03/31/2011 at 6:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wyoming)
Today, I was dry-walling a house when my butt started to itch. I bent over to scratch it on a piece of plywood, at which point the client's wife walked in and asked what the fuck I was doing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6232) - you deserved it (19187)
On 02/08/2011 at 2:58am - work - by Shane -
Today, my baby-crazy mother expressed her concerns that I haven't conceived after a whole two months of marriage. Her advice amounted to "get divorced while you're still hot, sleep around until you get pregnant, then marry the winner." When I complained to my father, he supported her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26845) - you deserved it (2071)
On 01/11/2011 at 1:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I finally found the words to describe how I felt after 2 years of depression. I asked on Yahoo Answers what I should do next. The most 'helpful' answer told me to go on a picnic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8156) - you deserved it (16768)
On 12/29/2010 at 8:17pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia
Today, while taking a shower, I was enthusiastically singing one of my favorite songs. When I got out, I noticed a bunch of things missing, and a note on my desk saying "shut the f*ck up, you suck." I was robbed and judged by a thief. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25960) - you deserved it (2793)
On 12/13/2010 at 1:10pm - misc - by Username - United States (Georgia)
Today, my grandmother told me to say "sofa king retarded" really fast. Not only did it take me several attempts to figure out what it meant, I'm now grounded by my mother for having a foul mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10332) - you deserved it (16276)
On 12/06/2010 at 12:03pm - misc - by bribreeeeeezyfreshhh (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11153) - you deserved it (29150)
On 11/27/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist and ran. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8912) - you deserved it (19366)
On 11/26/2010 at 10:43am - misc - by blackitalian - United States
Today, I went to use the public restroom. As I saw the toilet paper was out, I could see there was some hanging down from the other stall. As I went to grab it, I felt a hand grab mine and a voice ask seductively, "what were you reaching for?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21005) - you deserved it (7118)
On 11/22/2010 at 7:18pm - misc - by reesemaster (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my house was broken into. Apparently, I have nothing good enough in my house to steal, so they took my cake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20486) - you deserved it (2573)
On 11/19/2010 at 12:14am - misc - by Amanda -
Monday 20 May 2013
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