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Today, I put a blue toilet cleaner square in the back of toilet. My fiancé called me later on freaking out because he couldn't get the "blue water to go away" when he flushed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17609) - you deserved it (2203)
On 12/06/2011 at 8:38pm - love - by sparklethelette - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I went to a concert. Being 6'5" was a great advantage because I could see the stage from wherever I was stood. On the downside, I was used by people as a meeting point. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22108) - you deserved it (2614)
On 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by jackgrant (man) - Iran Islamic Republic of
Today, I started at my new waitressing job. Our uniforms have the name of the restaurant on the left chest pocket. My first customer asked me what the other boob’s called. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20254) - you deserved it (2021)
On 12/06/2011 at 7:26am - work - by boobywaitress (woman) - Australia
Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19153) - you deserved it (2157)
On 12/02/2011 at 12:23am - misc - by waterbottlehit (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my house was broken into. How? My mom left a key under a flower pot on the porch. She also left a note on the door saying so. He stole all of my guitars. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25306) - you deserved it (1666)
On 12/01/2011 at 5:00pm - misc - by Aaron -
Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28760) - you deserved it (4078)
On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I was lying on the floor playing with my cat. I was holding her in the air, when my sister tripped over the TV cord and unplugged the cable. The TV made a loud fuzzy sound, I got scared and threw my cat in the air. I got scratched in the face by a falling cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11877) - you deserved it (15831)
On 11/29/2011 at 11:15am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend became convinced that I cheated on him, and broke up with me, saying he would "get me back." When I came home, I found his key on my counter and my cat missing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22146) - you deserved it (2277)
On 11/29/2011 at 12:14am - animals - by reallyupset (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25563) - you deserved it (2390)
On 11/24/2011 at 12:07pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I managed to convince a girl to come back to my place for a bit of fun. Unfortunately, I was wearing cheap new black underwear, and some of its fibers had stuck themselves to my knob, making it look like a weird fleshy caterpillar. I didn't get lucky. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19587) - you deserved it (13647)
On 11/23/2011 at 11:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27763) - you deserved it (407)
On 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by religionbites621 - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my girlfriend dumped me. Her exact words used were "I like the idea of you, but I don't like you." I still don't know what that means. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23985) - you deserved it (2423)
On 11/16/2011 at 12:23am - love - by dharp7 (man) - United States (California)
Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9781) - you deserved it (43122)
On 11/15/2011 at 10:16am - kids - by Margo (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, as I was walking back to my dorm, I looked down and thought "I wonder why the ground is wet in just this one spot." Then I got hit with a water balloon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19942) - you deserved it (3326)
On 11/06/2011 at 11:50pm - misc - by Kirby - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend admitted that the only reason he remembers my eye color is because it's the same shade of his shit after he's had a salad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27950) - you deserved it (2907)
On 10/31/2011 at 4:06pm - love - by poopcoloredeyes (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Friday 24 May 2013
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