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About Ninjin1986 : Well I'm new here and always looking for people to talk to. So don't hesitate, just message me :)
Fingerprints everywhere
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I discovered that my three-year-old daughter has mastered the art of pickpocketing. While I was driving to work this morning, my car broke down. I reached in my pocket to call AAA on my cell, only to find her squirt gun in its place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5105) - you deserved it (585)
On 05/12/2012 at 4:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14761) - you deserved it (1569)
On 04/09/2012 at 6:32pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6315) - you deserved it (734)
On 03/26/2012 at 5:11am - intimacy - by pmek - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6858) - you deserved it (785)
On 03/11/2012 at 3:36am - love - by Tristan Brantley - United States (California)
Today, my mother surprised me with a new alarm clock. It's attached to a toy car which races around my room with obnoxious sirens going at full blast until I crawl out of bed and turn it off. She says this will be a regular thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12947) - you deserved it (8033)
On 02/28/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by poop - United States
Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7083) - you deserved it (674)
On 02/20/2012 at 9:15pm - misc - by Carpet cleaner (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was on a date with a guy I've been crushing on. In the middle of the dinner, he said he had to go get something from his car. When I asked what it was, he smiled and said it was a surprise. I waited for my surprise for half an hour. Then I decided to pay the bill and go home and cry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41504) - you deserved it (2118)
On 02/02/2012 at 1:00pm - love - by kingpig (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, it was my first time having sex with this guy. After a few second he stops, sits in the corner of his room buff-naked, with his knees up and his hands on his face. He then pouts and claims it was his worst performance ever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20271) - you deserved it (2317)
On 02/01/2012 at 3:19am - intimacy - by crybaby - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17028) - you deserved it (3425)
On 01/18/2012 at 6:30am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (6289) - you deserved it (2021)
On 01/14/2012 at 1:52am - intimacy - by haggisbowl - United States
Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14738) - you deserved it (26106)
Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11624) - you deserved it (1412) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6718) - you deserved it (1951)
On 12/20/2011 at 9:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, thanks to some asshole with a padlock, I got trapped in porta potty for over an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23219) - you deserved it (1631)
On 12/19/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by stinkyhair (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25332) - you deserved it (3821)
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