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NinjaTurtlexXx

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NinjaTurtlexXx

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  • Number of visits : 910
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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50 favourites

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NinjaTurtlexXx's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to explain to my 65-year-old mother that it is inappropriate for her to walk around in front of me in her underwear. Her response? "Too bad." FML

#18821985
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19459) - you deserved it (12473)

On 01/16/2012 at 3:19am - misc - by appropriatepolice - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got my period at school. I didn't notice until a boy asked me if I'd killed someone in my pants. FML

#18802819
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42670) - you deserved it (3829)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:47am - health - by shitttyyyday - United States

Today, I found out that if you see a tray with some black stuff in it and you can't decide whether it's powdered black pepper or cigarette ashes, it's not a good idea to taste it. FML

#18679153
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5937) - you deserved it (44648)

On 01/01/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by Leigha - Trinidad and Tobago (Saint George)

Today, I met my ex's new boyfriend. I was at work, cashiering at the movie theater that they were apparently having their first date at. We broke up less than 24 hours ago. FML

#18663308
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28262) - you deserved it (2173)

On 12/31/2011 at 12:09pm - love - by TheBeastSwaq - United States (California)

Today, my husband left his laptop logged in to a chat site after leaving for work. Curious, I read some of the logs, and discovered he has been posing as a woman and holding filthy conversations with "hot teen lesbians" for the past several months. FML

#18599933
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44204) - you deserved it (5649)

On 12/24/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was walking down the street, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. It wasn't all that embarrassing, until I walked two more feet and slipped again. The second time, a man pulled over and loudly asked if I was drunk. FML

#18553148
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24314) - you deserved it (2903)

On 12/19/2011 at 1:01pm - misc - by This girl (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I dropped my 7-year-old son off at school. He decided to have fun and step out of my car screaming "Stranger danger" while running away and pointing at me. I then had to get out of my car to shut the door he'd left wide open. This caused 20 other kids to scream "Stranger danger" as well. FML

Today, two American guys attacked me for not speaking their language. I'm from England, and they said I'm speaking my own language wrong. FML

#18525821
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36291) - you deserved it (6289)

On 12/16/2011 at 3:50am - misc - by Brit - Reserved

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for a familiar reason; I apparently have night terrors that make me "Impossible to sleep in the same room with." I don't ever remember these dreams. Every other girlfriend I've had has ended up breaking things off with me for the same reason. FML

#18471857
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32653) - you deserved it (3843)

On 12/09/2011 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

#18467751
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42287) - you deserved it (5143)

On 12/09/2011 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Aly (woman) - United States

Today, I took my kids to the mall to see Santa. While waiting in line, my eldest got bored and loudly complained, "I don't know why we're here. Santa's not even real." I don't think any of the kids within a hundred feet took the news very well. FML

#18438378
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27176) - you deserved it (4067)

On 12/05/2011 at 6:32pm - kids - by santashelper - United States

Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML

#18398754
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31392) - you deserved it (3786)

On 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's the second week into my new neighbors' routine. He works nights, she works days. He likes to blast out Slayer and Napalm Death all day, she likes to drunkenly sing out of tune to Adele all night. I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. FML

#18353086
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26172) - you deserved it (2065)

On 11/26/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by Help - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I tried to break up with my girlfriend because I feel unappreciated. She fell asleep while I was attempting this. FML

#18225112
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30436) - you deserved it (4038)

On 11/12/2011 at 1:41am - love - by kirrby - United States (Nevada)

Today, while cuddling up on the couch with my boyfriend, I asked him if this was his happy place too. He said, "Nah, it's in pussies." FML

#18165328
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29086) - you deserved it (9148)

On 11/05/2011 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by whatadisappointmnet (woman) - United States



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