Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

NinjaTurtlexXx

Search for a member

NinjaTurtlexXx

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 778
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

NinjaTurtlexXx's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

NinjaTurtlexXx's favorite FMLs

Today, as I turned the shower on, I got covered in gravy. Turns out, my friends had unscrewed the shower head, filled it with gravy granules, then screwed it back on. FML

#19319473
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24621) - you deserved it (2771)

On 03/21/2012 at 7:46am - health - by J Rush - United Kingdom (Powys)

Today, my new boyfriend asked why it takes me so long to reach orgasm. I didn't have the heart to tell him that he's never even given me one. FML

#19311891
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28915) - you deserved it (6282)

On 03/20/2012 at 1:11am - intimacy - by Jen (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

#19279132
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32830) - you deserved it (5845)

On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was in class and felt something tugging on my hair. I thought it was caught on the chair, so I turned around a little to look. The guy behind me was holding my hair and smelling it. He gave me a creepy smile, winked, and continued. FML

#19238857
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27324) - you deserved it (2151)

On 03/08/2012 at 11:23am - misc - by littlekellilee - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He gave me a cupcake. FML

#19235270
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21011) - you deserved it (3315)

On 03/07/2012 at 8:08pm - work - by Janitor (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I thought I was home alone, so I started singing to my cat. After a half hour of this, I finally stopped. Then I heard applauding. I turned around to find my parents standing in my doorway. FML

#19227433
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11372) - you deserved it (18832)

On 03/06/2012 at 2:54pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML

#19205333
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22991) - you deserved it (1891)

On 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm - misc - by wtf dad (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I started crying in class because of a sad part in the book I was reading. I got pulled out into the hallway and my male teacher asked, "Is it your special time?" FML

#19189371
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30930) - you deserved it (7704)

On 02/29/2012 at 3:21pm - misc - by Crying - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML

#19126336
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24784) - you deserved it (2224)

On 02/20/2012 at 9:15pm - misc - by Carpet cleaner (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, as I was leaving for work, I discovered my neighbor had just passed away. I found out when I came across his body lying in my front yard. FML

#19087811
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30331) - you deserved it (1782)

On 02/15/2012 at 6:53pm - misc - by Jedi2500 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

#19072659
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34463) - you deserved it (2621)

On 02/14/2012 at 9:29am - love - by Illinoisgirl - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I learnt there's a woman who comes into my store only to hear my Barry White-like voice. My boss knows who it is, yet refuses to tell me because it's "hilarious." I'm now cautious of every customer. FML

#18950332
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20195) - you deserved it (2796)

On 01/30/2012 at 4:00am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mom told me to clean the house up because she wants to make good impression on the cleaning lady. FML

#18933049
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27893) - you deserved it (2628)

On 01/28/2012 at 11:19am - misc - by messyvictor (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was working at Staples and organizing some notebooks. All of a sudden, I jumped up because of a sharp pain in my back. A little girl had grabbed a stapler and stapled my back. FML

#18876048
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37213) - you deserved it (2210)

On 01/22/2012 at 12:09am - kids - by thosedamnkids (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I attempted to cheat on a test by writing some notes on my hand. During the test I had a question. I raised my hand. FML

#18855245
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6834) - you deserved it (74018)

On 01/19/2012 at 6:26pm - misc - by tiptoesjohnson -



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: