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NinjaTurtlexXx

Offline (the 07/02/2015 at 5:07am) | Search for a member

NinjaTurtlexXx

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1082
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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NinjaTurtlexXx's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

NinjaTurtlexXx's favorite FMLs

Today, my new boyfriend asked why it takes me so long to reach orgasm. I didn't have the heart to tell him that he's never even given me one. FML

#19311891
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32074) - you deserved it (6750)

On 03/20/2012 at 1:11am - intimacy - by Jen (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

#19279132
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33325) - you deserved it (5888)

On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was in class and felt something tugging on my hair. I thought it was caught on the chair, so I turned around a little to look. The guy behind me was holding my hair and smelling it. He gave me a creepy smile, winked, and continued. FML

#19238857
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27694) - you deserved it (2172)

On 03/08/2012 at 11:23am - misc - by littlekellilee - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He gave me a cupcake. FML

#19235270
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23813) - you deserved it (3626)

On 03/07/2012 at 8:08pm - work - by Janitor (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I thought I was home alone, so I started singing to my cat. After a half hour of this, I finally stopped. Then I heard applauding. I turned around to find my parents standing in my doorway. FML

#19227433
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11781) - you deserved it (19234)

On 03/06/2012 at 2:54pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML

#19205333
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23455) - you deserved it (1916)

On 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm - misc - by wtf dad (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I started crying in class because of a sad part in the book I was reading. I got pulled out into the hallway and my male teacher asked, "Is it your special time?" FML

#19189371
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34088) - you deserved it (8154)

On 02/29/2012 at 3:21pm - misc - by Crying - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML

#19126336
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26666) - you deserved it (2383)

On 02/20/2012 at 9:15pm - misc - by Carpet cleaner (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, as I was leaving for work, I discovered my neighbor had just passed away. I found out when I came across his body lying in my front yard. FML

#19087811
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31761) - you deserved it (1875)

On 02/15/2012 at 6:53pm - misc - by Jedi2500 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

#19072659
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37540) - you deserved it (2850)

On 02/14/2012 at 9:29am - love - by Illinoisgirl - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I learnt there's a woman who comes into my store only to hear my Barry White-like voice. My boss knows who it is, yet refuses to tell me because it's "hilarious." I'm now cautious of every customer. FML

#18950332
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20572) - you deserved it (2817)

On 01/30/2012 at 4:00am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mom told me to clean the house up because she wants to make good impression on the cleaning lady. FML

#18933049
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29815) - you deserved it (2797)

On 01/28/2012 at 11:19am - misc - by messyvictor (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was working at Staples and organizing some notebooks. All of a sudden, I jumped up because of a sharp pain in my back. A little girl had grabbed a stapler and stapled my back. FML

#18876048
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39633) - you deserved it (2383)

On 01/22/2012 at 12:09am - kids - by thosedamnkids (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I attempted to cheat on a test by writing some notes on my hand. During the test I had a question. I raised my hand. FML

#18855245
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6913) - you deserved it (74825)

On 01/19/2012 at 6:26pm - misc - by tiptoesjohnson -

Today, I had to explain to my 65-year-old mother that it is inappropriate for her to walk around in front of me in her underwear. Her response? "Too bad." FML

#18821985
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21485) - you deserved it (13071)

On 01/16/2012 at 3:19am - misc - by appropriatepolice - United States (Illinois)



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