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NinjaTurtlexXx

Offline (the 08/28/2014 at 6:48pm) | Search for a member

NinjaTurtlexXx

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  • Number of visits : 849
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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50 favourites

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NinjaTurtlexXx's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally gained the nerve to ask out the girl of my dreams. She responded by saying, "You need to lower your standards." FML

#19637650
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25409) - you deserved it (2603)

On 05/17/2012 at 5:07pm - love - by colts609380 - United States (California)

Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML

#19526031
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21776) - you deserved it (2680)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:46am - work - by foshizzle (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was so lonely that I had a conversation with myself on my way home. It was only when I reached my apartment complex that I discovered that my neighbour had been walking behind me, laughing to himself the whole way. FML

#19525636
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18143) - you deserved it (9262)

On 04/25/2012 at 12:50am - misc - by unfortunate (woman) - Sweden

Today, a therapist told me that I was too depressed to attend his depression group meetings. FML

#19520944
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27908) - you deserved it (2506)

On 04/24/2012 at 7:22am - health - by Sad Sally (woman) - United States

Today, driving home, I got bored and started debating how I know this is reality and not just a dream, even though dreams often seem real. The answer came quickly; in my dreams, I work normal hours and have time for things like hanging out with friends, and having a girlfriend. FML

#19499711
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15787) - you deserved it (3425)

On 04/20/2012 at 4:56am - misc - by metalwolf - United States

Today, I was looking through my Internet browsing history. Apparently my wife had searched "How to have an affair without getting caught". FML

#19484156
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35549) - you deserved it (2280)

On 04/17/2012 at 2:11pm - love - by Jason199615 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML

#19477663
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24613) - you deserved it (2927)

On 04/16/2012 at 8:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
583 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13319) - you deserved it (54552) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I got mugged at Disney World, the happiest place on Earth. FML

#19434352
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33610) - you deserved it (3092)

On 04/09/2012 at 1:15am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's my 30th birthday. I was having a great night until I overheard my mother say, "I can't believe that thing made it to 30." FML

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a basketball game. A very pretty woman sat next to him. During the third quarter, the kiss cam came on. But it didn't show him and me, it showed him and the other girl. And they kissed. FML

#19426684
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44436) - you deserved it (3087)

On 04/07/2012 at 11:19pm - love - by jordyn173 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I woke up with a splitting headache. I have no idea what happened the night before, except for the fact that I'd tucked two uncapped vodka bottles into bed beside me, and now my room reeks of a Russian sorority house. FML

#19417580
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5824) - you deserved it (22067)

On 04/06/2012 at 12:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML

#19394334
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25087) - you deserved it (9221)

On 04/02/2012 at 10:02am - love - by IloveJapan (woman) - Japan

Today, I learned that my mother now refuses to drink anything but bottled water because she actually believes that the government is putting a chemical in tap water that lowers pregnancy rates. She is trying for her 5th child. FML

#19372979
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20908) - you deserved it (1815)

On 03/29/2012 at 10:16pm - misc - by rusrs - United Kingdom

Today, my boss pulled me aside to chastise me for being "off task" because I was chatting with a co-worker while working on a project. She then spent a half hour chatting with the same person about what daycare she should go to for her new baby. FML

#19369519
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19741) - you deserved it (1794)

On 03/29/2012 at 11:42am - work - by anonymous - United States (Texas)



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