NinjaTurtlexXx

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Offline (the 07/02/2015 at 5:07am)

NinjaTurtlexXx

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  • Number of visits : 1160
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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NinjaTurtlexXx's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

50 favourites

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NinjaTurtlexXx's favorite FMLs

Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML

by foshizzle / 04/25/2012 at 2:46am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I was so lonely that I had a conversation with myself on my way home. It was only when I reached my apartment complex that I discovered that my neighbour had been walking behind me, laughing to himself the whole way. FML

by unfortunate / 04/25/2012 at 12:50am / Sweden / Miscellaneous

Today, a therapist told me that I was too depressed to attend his depression group meetings. FML

by Sad Sally / 04/24/2012 at 7:22am / United States / Health

Today, driving home, I got bored and started debating how I know this is reality and not just a dream, even though dreams often seem real. The answer came quickly; in my dreams, I work normal hours and have time for things like hanging out with friends, and having a girlfriend. FML

by metalwolf / 04/20/2012 at 4:56am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was looking through my Internet browsing history. Apparently my wife had searched "How to have an affair without getting caught". FML

by Jason199615 / 04/17/2012 at 2:11pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML

by Anonymous / 04/16/2012 at 8:38am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I got mugged at Disney World, the happiest place on Earth. FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Money

Today, it's my 30th birthday. I was having a great night until I overheard my mother say, "I can't believe that thing made it to 30." FML

by psychoticbiatch / 04/08/2012 at 9:58am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a basketball game. A very pretty woman sat next to him. During the third quarter, the kiss cam came on. But it didn't show him and me, it showed him and the other girl. And they kissed. FML

by jordyn173 / 04/07/2012 at 11:19pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Love

Today, I woke up with a splitting headache. I have no idea what happened the night before, except for the fact that I'd tucked two uncapped vodka bottles into bed beside me, and now my room reeks of a Russian sorority house. FML

by Anonymous / 04/06/2012 at 12:58pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML

by IloveJapan / 04/02/2012 at 10:02am / Japan / Love

Today, I learned that my mother now refuses to drink anything but bottled water because she actually believes that the government is putting a chemical in tap water that lowers pregnancy rates. She is trying for her 5th child. FML

by rusrs / 03/29/2012 at 10:16pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss pulled me aside to chastise me for being "off task" because I was chatting with a co-worker while working on a project. She then spent a half hour chatting with the same person about what daycare she should go to for her new baby. FML

by anonymous / 03/29/2012 at 11:42am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, as I turned the shower on, I got covered in gravy. Turns out, my friends had unscrewed the shower head, filled it with gravy granules, then screwed it back on. FML

by J Rush / 03/21/2012 at 7:46am / United Kingdom (Powys) / Health