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NinjaTurtlexXx

Offline (the 08/28/2014 at 6:48pm) | Search for a member

NinjaTurtlexXx

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  • Number of visits : 871
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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NinjaTurtlexXx's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend bought us three kittens. Today, I also discovered that I am allergic to cats. My boyfriend broke up with me because he wanted the cats more than me. FML

#19978761
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27139) - you deserved it (3642)

On 07/23/2012 at 12:31am - animals - by Lola -

Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

#19967014
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24773) - you deserved it (4399)

On 07/21/2012 at 4:00am - kids - by It was the 11 year old - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my mom about the severe phobia I've developed towards driving. She was very supportive and even made me an appointment to see a psychologist. His office is two hours away. I have to drive to see my doctor about my fear of driving. FML

#19956535
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21347) - you deserved it (2901)

On 07/18/2012 at 9:29pm - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, my neighbors are moving. As we were saying our goodbyes, their 12-year-old son approached and thanked me for the times I forgot to shut the blinds and he watched me change. FML

#19945004
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15862) - you deserved it (25245)

On 07/16/2012 at 10:38am - kids - by oops123 (woman) - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I've been diagnosed with gestational diabetes. Despite all my attempts to explain that he's wrong, he is totally convinced that my genitals have diabetes. This guy is going to be such a great father to our kids. FML

#19942107
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18894) - you deserved it (5585)

On 07/15/2012 at 5:52pm - health - by Tori (woman) - Australia

Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML

#19941503
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21234) - you deserved it (2952)

On 07/15/2012 at 3:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my manager called me into his office and spent half an hour screaming at me for granting one of our workers so many religious off-days. Apparently, the name of these "religious observances" actually means something to the effect of "scoring some pussy" in Macedonian. FML

#19909832
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19641) - you deserved it (3729)

On 07/08/2012 at 2:32pm - work - by a4rk (man) - Malaysia (Sarawak)

Today, while cashiering at the drug store, I saw my ex-boyfriend, who I'm still completely in love with. Being the only cashier, I had to ring him up. He was buying condoms. FML

#19853920
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35189) - you deserved it (3030)

On 06/27/2012 at 1:05am - love - by tammy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I divorced my husband of 20 years. The only positive thing about my day was my pregnancy test. Yes, it was his. FML

#19831438
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25389) - you deserved it (8034)

On 06/22/2012 at 10:57pm - misc - by GM38 - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally turned 21 so my friends and I decided to go to a club. There, I met this hot waitress and we were really hitting it off. I decided to order a drink. She replied with, "No problem, kiddo." FML

#19810432
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20490) - you deserved it (6074)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:28am - misc - by DerrickUhl - United States (California)

Today, I found out how my parents met. They met at a mental hospital, where they were both being hospitalized. FML

#19791945
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29507) - you deserved it (2405)

On 06/15/2012 at 11:36am - love - by fail (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my eight-year-old son thought that if he swallowed soap, his farts would smell like soap. The smell of vomit and diarrhea now permeating my house is proof of how wrong he was. FML

#19680165
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22966) - you deserved it (2264)

On 05/25/2012 at 8:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, due to an unforeseen pipe-related incident, I had to shave my legs in my backyard fish pond, while a plumber assessed the damage to my war-zone of a bathroom. FML

#19679024
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15029) - you deserved it (2888)

On 05/25/2012 at 3:59pm - misc - by KieRendan (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, after dieting, rigorous exercising and a major lifestyle change, I have finally reached my fitness goal. My parents were more excited about my 17-year-old brother getting to 3rd base with his girlfriend. FML

#19670300
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22729) - you deserved it (2607)

On 05/23/2012 at 10:47pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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