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NinjaTurtlexXx

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NinjaTurtlexXx

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  • Number of visits : 768
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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50 favourites

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NinjaTurtlexXx's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I made love for the first time. Before we left his house so he could walk me home, I fixed my hair by the hall mirror and joked about having serious sex hair. My boyfriend quickly reminded me that his incredibly religious mother was in the next room. FML

#20107434
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10217) - you deserved it (31907)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by blabbermouth (woman) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)

Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench. FML

#20091945
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31943) - you deserved it (2319)

On 09/28/2012 at 4:24am - intimacy - by iNearlyHurled - United States

Today, I went to Waffle House to talk to the manager about getting a job. My boyfriend now wants to beat up the manager for giving me his number so that I can call him whenever I'm done filling in the application. FML

#20085651
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16464) - you deserved it (2868)

On 09/23/2012 at 8:26pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML

#20084737
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27117) - you deserved it (10847)

On 09/23/2012 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, thinking I was alone in my house, I went downstairs in my underwear, singing at the top of my voice. I strutted into the kitchen to find two middle-aged men I'd never seen before sat at the kitchen table, drinking coffee. Turns out they will be painting our house for the next two weeks. FML

#20077635
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22371) - you deserved it (3803)

On 09/18/2012 at 10:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my little sister came home crying because someone had shown her a video about the Slender Man. Trying to calm her down, I explained to her that he wasn't real, just like Santa Claus. She looked up at me and said "Santa's not real?" It's been 3 hours, and she hasn't stopped crying. FML

#20053719
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11174) - you deserved it (27106)

On 09/02/2012 at 6:07am - kids - by The Horrible Older Sister - United States (Arizona)

Today, my clumsiness has reached such legendary proportions in my family, that when I visited my grandparents, I found they'd put stickers all over their glass doors, so I wouldn't have "yet another painful accident". FML

#20052788
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16574) - you deserved it (4250)

On 09/01/2012 at 4:50pm - misc - by fuck yuo (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, I woke up to an angry text from my roommate asking me to please let her know next time I'm going to have a friend crashing on the couch. I have no idea who she's talking about. FML

#20038307
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21323) - you deserved it (1372)

On 08/23/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML

#20037487
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9155) - you deserved it (24814)

On 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was T-boned while going through an intersection. The guy who hit me accused me of not using my turn signal. I was going straight. FML

#20024180
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23139) - you deserved it (1192)

On 08/16/2012 at 8:10am - misc - by mdp624 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my social anxiety hit a new low. I was playing bingo and, although I won, I didn't shout "bingo" because I thought too many people would look at me. FML

#20015021
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24756) - you deserved it (7784)

On 08/11/2012 at 10:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I learned that my son goes on online chat rooms and has sexual fantasy role-play. To make matters worse, the characters he uses are from My Little Pony. FML

#20009087
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29715) - you deserved it (3959)

On 08/08/2012 at 4:02am - intimacy - by FMLMom - United States (California)

Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML

#20000538
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17006) - you deserved it (9593)

On 08/03/2012 at 3:28pm - misc - by squeltorey (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking to the movie theatre with my boyfriend, when three guys muscled over and told us to hand over our phones. My boyfriend didn't waste any time pushing past me and running like hell, leaving me in tears and almost having a panic attack. FML

#19992901
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28390) - you deserved it (2567)

On 07/30/2012 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ukraine (Kyyiv)

Today, on my way to work, I noticed a woman on the side of the road waving for help, her car appearing to be broken down. I pulled over, stepped out of my car, went over to her car, lifted the hood, and checked it. When I looked up to tell her what was wrong, she and my car were gone. FML

#19980776
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29122) - you deserved it (7203)

On 07/24/2012 at 1:04am - misc - by Joey - United States (Florida)



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