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Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20808) - you deserved it (2124)
On 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by SadExperiment (man) - United States (California)
Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22595) - you deserved it (1225)
On 10/29/2012 at 8:03am - misc - by StormSeason (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14698) - you deserved it (2191)
On 10/28/2012 at 8:29am - work - by radioinvader (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22261) - you deserved it (3162)
On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I discovered my son, who has recently moved out of our home, eating his dog's food. His excuse? He wanted the new Pokemon game, and "compromises had to be made". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14963) - you deserved it (1790)
Today, my boyfriend and I made love for the first time. Before we left his house so he could walk me home, I fixed my hair by the hall mirror and joked about having serious sex hair. My boyfriend quickly reminded me that his incredibly religious mother was in the next room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6516) - you deserved it (19554)
On 10/08/2012 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by blabbermouth (woman) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)
Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23394) - you deserved it (1467)
On 09/28/2012 at 4:24am - intimacy - by iNearlyHurled - United States
Today, I went to Waffle House to talk to the manager about getting a job. My boyfriend now wants to beat up the manager for giving me his number so that I can call him whenever I'm done filling in the application. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11368) - you deserved it (1989)
On 09/23/2012 at 8:26pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18513) - you deserved it (8107)
On 09/23/2012 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, thinking I was alone in my house, I went downstairs in my underwear, singing at the top of my voice. I strutted into the kitchen to find two middle-aged men I'd never seen before sat at the kitchen table, drinking coffee. Turns out they will be painting our house for the next two weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16804) - you deserved it (2576)
On 09/18/2012 at 10:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my little sister came home crying because someone had shown her a video about the Slender Man. Trying to calm her down, I explained to her that he wasn't real, just like Santa Claus. She looked up at me and said "Santa's not real?" It's been 3 hours, and she hasn't stopped crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8212) - you deserved it (17147)
On 09/02/2012 at 6:07am - kids - by The Horrible Older Sister - United States (Arizona)
Today, my clumsiness has reached such legendary proportions in my family, that when I visited my grandparents, I found they'd put stickers all over their glass doors, so I wouldn't have "yet another painful accident". FML
I agree, your life sucks (11887) - you deserved it (2903)
On 09/01/2012 at 4:50pm - misc - by fuck yuo (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)
Today, I woke up to an angry text from my roommate asking me to please let her know next time I'm going to have a friend crashing on the couch. I have no idea who she's talking about. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15656) - you deserved it (876)
On 08/23/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6660) - you deserved it (15799)
On 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was T-boned while going through an intersection. The guy who hit me accused me of not using my turn signal. I was going straight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17478) - you deserved it (734)
On 08/16/2012 at 8:10am - misc - by mdp624 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 20 May 2013
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