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NinjaTurtlexXx

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NinjaTurtlexXx
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 691
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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50 favourites

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NinjaTurtlexXx's favorite FMLs

Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was just wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and um...stuff. FML

#168503
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77315) - you deserved it (12976)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:45am - health - by Monty (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was in my room and I drew a Harry Potter lightning bolt on my forehead in eyeliner because it cheers me up. Then some friends came over, so we went out to get yogurt, and when I got back I realized the lightning bolt was still there. I'm in college. FML

#150971
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10773) - you deserved it (65787)

On 02/27/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by Fenny (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

#107795
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22997) - you deserved it (62286)

On 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm - intimacy - by madfather (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML

#97729
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82281) - you deserved it (5508)

On 02/21/2009 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was doing my usual routine at the gym which consists of working out on the treadmills right in front of my ex boyfriend to make him feel bad. Whilst doing this, I tried to be cool and do that thing where as the treadmill slows down you turn around and just walk off the end. I fell. FML

#94773
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8080) - you deserved it (57862)

On 02/21/2009 at 4:35am - love - by notsosexygirl (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I jokingly told my mom that I was having sex with my Professor. Her response was, "As long as you're getting A's, honey!" FML

#93640
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27113) - you deserved it (46660)

On 02/21/2009 at 12:36am - intimacy - by acincollege (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was eating at a restaurant with my boyfriend, he is 6'2 and i am 4'11. Out of nowhere, the hostess started openly flirting with him, and asked him if he needed a booster chair for his daughter. FML

#70392
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67998) - you deserved it (4068)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by not-so-young-shortie (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML

#60108
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62258) - you deserved it (4821)

On 02/17/2009 at 10:27am - misc - by stillsingleladies (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, for the first time in months, I got a call from a beautiful girl asking me what I was doing tonight. Then my battery died. FML

#36219
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38720) - you deserved it (7208)

On 02/13/2009 at 10:02am - misc - by shinoza (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I finally stood up to a bully who had been messing with me for over a year. His response? He picked up the chair I was sitting in and threw me across the room. FML

#10740
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30827) - you deserved it (3324)

On 02/05/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. I pulled a muscle taking my sweater off in the locker room. FML

#3193
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23121) - you deserved it (5374)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:30pm - misc - by j4y - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML

#2738
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5918) - you deserved it (57132)

On 01/26/2009 at 8:17pm - misc - by crazyvulva9216 - United States (California)

Today, the guy I've secretly been in love with for years told me how hot my brother is. FML

#1465
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20651) - you deserved it (1921)

On 01/17/2009 at 2:49pm - love - by Shantoya - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, it's been 2 weeks since I lost my virginity and I've already had sex with 3 guys. I think I'm a nympho. FML

#723
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9004) - you deserved it (67170)

On 01/07/2009 at 3:16am - intimacy - by sexaddict - Sent from mobile version

Today, my son laughed at me when I tried to get him to put a bit more effort into his schoolwork. His grandmother had kindly given him all my shitty school reports from when I was his age. FML

#493
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18211) - you deserved it (6033)

On 12/11/2008 at 7:21am - kids - by fataldisease - Sent from mobile version



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