NinjaTurtlexXx

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Offline (the 07/02/2015 at 5:07am)

NinjaTurtlexXx

0Fucked!

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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1147
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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NinjaTurtlexXx's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Mobility

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NinjaTurtlexXx's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

by madfather / 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML

by Mike / 02/21/2009 at 5:24pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was doing my usual routine at the gym which consists of working out on the treadmills right in front of my ex boyfriend to make him feel bad. Whilst doing this, I tried to be cool and do that thing where as the treadmill slows down you turn around and just walk off the end. I fell. FML

by notsosexygirl / 02/21/2009 at 4:35am / United Kingdom (London) / Love

Today, I jokingly told my mom that I was having sex with my Professor. Her response was, "As long as you're getting A's, honey!" FML

by acincollege / 02/21/2009 at 12:36am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I was eating at a restaurant with my boyfriend, he is 6'2 and i am 4'11. Out of nowhere, the hostess started openly flirting with him, and asked him if he needed a booster chair for his daughter. FML

by not-so-young-shortie / 02/18/2009 at 5:57pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML

by stillsingleladies / 02/17/2009 at 10:27am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, for the first time in months, I got a call from a beautiful girl asking me what I was doing tonight. Then my battery died. FML

by shinoza / 02/13/2009 at 10:02am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Love

Today, I finally stood up to a bully who had been messing with me for over a year. His response? He picked up the chair I was sitting in and threw me across the room. FML

by Noname / 02/05/2009 at 6:15pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. I pulled a muscle taking my sweater off in the locker room. FML

by j4y / 01/28/2009 at 7:30pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML

by crazyvulva9216 / 01/26/2009 at 8:17pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, the guy I've secretly been in love with for years told me how hot my brother is. FML

by Shantoya / 01/17/2009 at 2:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Love

Today, it's been 2 weeks since I lost my virginity and I've already had sex with 3 guys. I think I'm a nympho. FML

by sexaddict / 01/07/2009 at 3:16am / Intimacy

Today, my son laughed at me when I tried to get him to put a bit more effort into his schoolwork. His grandmother had kindly given him all my shitty school reports from when I was his age. FML

by fataldisease / 12/11/2008 at 7:21am / Kids

Today, my girlfriend told me that I was irrationally jealous. I’ve just learnt that she has a website where she masturbates in front of a webcam. FML

by Maestro / 12/01/2008 at 1:09am / Intimacy

Today, my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling and reassembling it) in my new room, because I couldn't find how I wanted to set it up. He also took care of putting back my vibrator between the mattress and the base, where it was hidden. FML

by Sam / 11/28/2008 at 3:50am / Intimacy