NinjaTurtlexXx

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Offline (the 07/02/2015 at 5:07am)

NinjaTurtlexXx

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  • Number of visits : 1464
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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NinjaTurtlexXx's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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NinjaTurtlexXx's favorite FMLs

Today, I realised that what I had thought was my dad's default state for the past 17 years is actually his drunken state. FML

by Violet / 04/19/2011 at 5:50am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my teacher told me I wasn't pretty enough to play the princess part in the play. FML

by sophie / 04/13/2011 at 12:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, at 6am I was waiting for the tram to go home from my late night job. A homeless man came up to me and offered to buy me a beer because "guys like us have to stick together." FML

by ihaveahome / 04/12/2011 at 12:02pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to work at a chemotherapy clinic. After explaining to a patient about the risks and benefits of chemotherapy for his underlying metastatic lung cancer, he asks is it OK to smoke during chemotherapy. FML

by Shamdog48 / 04/11/2011 at 11:08am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I realized that even though I was an honor student throughout school, and considered the golden child who was going to go far in life, all I've accomplished a year after graduation is becoming an unemployed single mother still living with my parents. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2011 at 7:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was waiting for the bus while wearing my FML shirt. A passer-by stopped, stared at me for a moment, and said, "I agree, your life sucks." FML

by Danou / 03/28/2011 at 9:51am / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML

by HotAsTits / 03/20/2011 at 4:31pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I had a violent coughing fit while at the store, which caused a lady to think I was choking, grab me from behind and start doing the Heimlich maneuver incorrectly. She broke two of my ribs. FML

by Anonymous / 03/16/2011 at 8:53am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals I have around the house, into sex positions and massive orgies. What have I been teaching my son lately? FML

by lolzboss / 03/07/2011 at 2:04pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, the dog went nuts at 3am. I searched the yard with a spotlight and machete. Nothing. He may actually just be an asshole. FML

by panda / 03/03/2011 at 6:20am / Animals

Today, a neighbor called the cops on me and my friends because we were "starting a fire" in the backyard. We were using a barbecue. FML

by EpicFailTime / 02/21/2011 at 9:21pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend asking if I'd Skype with him. Thinking he'd find my tousled bed hair and big t-shirt sexy, I went on. The first thing he noticed was the massive booger on my face that stretched from my nose to the other side of my cheek. FML

by Whatever479 / 02/17/2011 at 12:29pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Health

Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML

by inosehowthatgotthere / 02/09/2011 at 8:12pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML

by mom21 / 02/08/2011 at 12:46pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while changing my clothes, my 3 year old daughter informed me that I looked like a zebra. Noticing my shocked face, she tried comforting me by telling me I was a pretty zebra because I was a purple zebra. She was talking about my stretch marks. FML

by jenabp / 01/03/2011 at 1:56pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids