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NinjaTurtlexXx

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NinjaTurtlexXx
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  • Number of visits : 694
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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50 favourites

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NinjaTurtlexXx's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm the "lucky" type of woman who can experience intense orgasms in certain positions: in the middle of group yoga. FML

#15896670
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41005) - you deserved it (6672)

On 04/23/2011 at 10:55am - intimacy - by nightDREAMERms (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mother and girlfriend were joking around and talking about the embarrassing things I've done. After they'd had a lengthly conversation, my girlfriend mentions "And he always farts during sex." FML

#15895306
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35296) - you deserved it (9506)

On 04/23/2011 at 4:37am - intimacy - by Sadman (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I realised that what I had thought was my dad's default state for the past 17 years is actually his drunken state. FML

#15844310
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25202) - you deserved it (2825)

On 04/19/2011 at 5:50am - misc - by Violet (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my teacher told me I wasn't pretty enough to play the princess part in the play. FML

#15769893
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37825) - you deserved it (4990)

On 04/13/2011 at 12:36pm - misc - by sophie - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at 6am I was waiting for the tram to go home from my late night job. A homeless man came up to me and offered to buy me a beer because "guys like us have to stick together." FML

#15754863
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24971) - you deserved it (3474)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:02pm - misc - by ihaveahome (man) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I went to work at a chemotherapy clinic. After explaining to a patient about the risks and benefits of chemotherapy for his underlying metastatic lung cancer, he asks is it OK to smoke during chemotherapy. FML

#15739241
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25678) - you deserved it (3008)

On 04/11/2011 at 11:08am - work - by Shamdog48 - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that even though I was an honor student throughout school, and considered the golden child who was going to go far in life, all I've accomplished a year after graduation is becoming an unemployed single mother still living with my parents. FML

#15535054
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17781) - you deserved it (25145)

On 03/28/2011 at 7:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was waiting for the bus while wearing my FML shirt. A passer-by stopped, stared at me for a moment, and said, "I agree, your life sucks." FML

#15528931
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26281) - you deserved it (52536) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/28/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by Danou - Sent from mobile version

Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML

#15401904
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40812) - you deserved it (8960)

On 03/20/2011 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by HotAsTits (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had a violent coughing fit while at the store, which caused a lady to think I was choking, grab me from behind and start doing the Heimlich maneuver incorrectly. She broke two of my ribs. FML

#15334781
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38817) - you deserved it (3218)

On 03/16/2011 at 8:53am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals I have around the house, into sex positions and massive orgies. What have I been teaching my son lately? FML

#15229654
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11183) - you deserved it (37513)

On 03/07/2011 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by lolzboss - United States (Virginia)

Today, the dog went nuts at 3am. I searched the yard with a spotlight and machete. Nothing. He may actually just be an asshole. FML

#15184049
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22889) - you deserved it (5504)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:20am - animals - by panda -

Today, a neighbor called the cops on me and my friends because we were "starting a fire" in the backyard. We were using a barbecue. FML

#15070074
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22950) - you deserved it (1923)

On 02/21/2011 at 9:21pm - misc - by EpicFailTime -

Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend asking if I'd Skype with him. Thinking he'd find my tousled bed hair and big t-shirt sexy, I went on. The first thing he noticed was the massive booger on my face that stretched from my nose to the other side of my cheek. FML

#15015592
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9767) - you deserved it (29239)

On 02/17/2011 at 12:29pm - misc - by Whatever479 - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML

#14913513
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6846) - you deserved it (44248)

On 02/09/2011 at 8:12pm - misc - by inosehowthatgotthere (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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