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NinjaTurtlexXx

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NinjaTurtlexXx
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  • Number of visits : 693
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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NinjaTurtlexXx's favorite FMLs

Today, after a tennis lesson, the coach was picking up the stray tennis balls around the court. Trying to be helpful, I asked him, "Do you want me to grab your ball bag?" His eyeballs almost burst out of their sockets. FML

#17512926
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24874) - you deserved it (7303)

On 08/18/2011 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by BigmouthStrikesAgain (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was at the airport to pick up my mother since my baby is due soon. As she arrived, I smiled wide and opened my arms for a hug, but she walked right by me. Apparently, being pregnant makes me unrecognizable. My husband and I had to tell it her was me, her own daughter. FML

#17468026
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25667) - you deserved it (2361)

On 08/14/2011 at 6:34am - misc - by Motherly Love - United States (Virginia)

Today, my parents woke me up at 4 am and informed me of their impending divorce. They then woke me up again three hours later and told me "never mind". This same routine happens several times a month. FML

#17375623
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30809) - you deserved it (1810)

On 08/05/2011 at 5:27am - misc - by iloveryanhiga (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount of whiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. FML

#17365411
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12906) - you deserved it (54438)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:41am - kids - by makeitstop (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was presented with a bill for $27,601 by my single, alcoholic, deadbeat father. Why? "For having to raise your goddamn lazy ass." FML

#17350517
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31496) - you deserved it (2448)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:45am - money - by bigbill - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML

#17322552
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24291) - you deserved it (32530)

On 07/31/2011 at 5:45pm - love - by iannie - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a completely random boner at a coffee shop, five seconds before two attractive women asked me to stand up and take their picture. FML

#17253981
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30948) - you deserved it (4008)

On 07/25/2011 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, it was hot out, so I opted to stay cool and wear my bathing suit all day. My mom took it as me rubbing in the fact that I'm thinner than her and grounded me. FML

#17242973
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32013) - you deserved it (4740)

On 07/24/2011 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, whenever I do something that the kid I am babysitting likes, he pats me on the head and says "good girl". I'm whipped by a seven year old. FML

#17177667
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23948) - you deserved it (7501)

On 07/19/2011 at 2:03pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after being in love with one of my best friends for ages, he took me on a date. We then went back to his place and we made love. Afterwards, he told me he wanted to show me something and led me outside. He ran back in and locked the door. It's a two hour walk home. FML

#17174791
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50910) - you deserved it (6538)

On 07/19/2011 at 7:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

#17113139
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13845) - you deserved it (61781)

On 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my best friend told me to face my fear of cows and hop over the fence in with them. This resulted in me being chased by a raging cow, and thrusting myself head first over a fence. FML

#17087035
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19989) - you deserved it (13493)

On 07/12/2011 at 11:13pm - animals - by MooCow - United States (Montana)

Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML

#17080358
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36869) - you deserved it (21187)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:09pm - misc - by couldntholdit (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

#17023204
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30935) - you deserved it (3405)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by Yoda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother told me she wanted me to get an exorcism. Yes, she was serious. I'm Jewish. FML

#16999311
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22676) - you deserved it (2484)

On 07/06/2011 at 11:21am - misc - by anonymous - United States



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