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NinjaTurtlexXx

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NinjaTurtlexXx

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  • Number of visits : 912
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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50 favourites

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NinjaTurtlexXx's favorite FMLs

Today, one of my neighbors dressed up in the exact same costume as me. Every house I go to refuses to give me candy because my neighbor has already been there. FML

#18123545
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29038) - you deserved it (3023)

On 10/31/2011 at 8:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, it was my first day on duty as a rookie cop. Everything was going great, and even the veterans on the force were warming up to me. That is until my mother came into the station carrying a brown bag for my lunch. Written on the bag was, "Lunch for my big boy. I love you, pumpkin." FML

#18072512
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36151) - you deserved it (5662)

On 10/25/2011 at 2:46pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my parents staged a family intervention and gave me the grandest bollocking I've ever experienced in all my 22 years of life. They did this because my sister showed them a photo of me jokingly posing with three bottles of Bud Light at a party. Apparently, I'm an alcoholic in denial. FML

#18065493
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24203) - you deserved it (4386)

On 10/24/2011 at 6:46pm - misc - by wtf (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, at my mom's wedding, I tripped as I was walking down the aisle. I was holding the train of her dress. It ripped. FML

#18057412
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28364) - you deserved it (3748)

On 10/23/2011 at 7:58pm - misc - by TitMunch - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After we finished, he went under the covers and started touching me. At first I thought he was trying to give me "oral pleasure". It turns out he lost the condom inside of me and was trying to fish it out before I noticed. FML

Today, my dad came to confiscate my phone. I stuck it in between my boobs so he wouldn't be able to see it. He said, "Honey, your breasts aren't big enough to hide that." FML

#17935197
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14301) - you deserved it (39552)

On 10/08/2011 at 1:03pm - misc - by G - United States (California)

Today, my brother handed me a sandwich that I'd asked him to make for me. Halfway through eating the sandwich, he started laughing hysterically. I still don't know what was in it. FML

#17823625
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27116) - you deserved it (6556)

On 09/24/2011 at 7:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was sent home from work early because of structural issues. I walked in on my unemployed boyfriend cuddling another woman on the couch. When I confronted them, he freaked out and kept trying to convince me that I was dreaming. I don't know what I ever saw in this loser. FML

#17811701
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36565) - you deserved it (4123)

On 09/23/2011 at 7:04am - love - by alone - China

Today, my girlfriend gave me a speech on me "not being manly enough". I started crying. FML

#17762644
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16798) - you deserved it (47061)

On 09/17/2011 at 4:17am - love - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I finished the first month of a diet and exercise program designed to help me lose weight. To keep myself motivated, I have avoided the scale the entire time. I weighed myself today. I've gained 6 pounds. FML

#17744289
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26297) - you deserved it (5277)

On 09/14/2011 at 2:21pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, a woman came into the gas station where I work, yelling because her credit card wouldn't read at the pump. I politely told her that I could set the pump up for a set amount, and she could swipe the card at the register. Her response: "You need Jesus." FML

#17727242
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26372) - you deserved it (2324)

On 09/12/2011 at 10:28am - work - by charliemann_ - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I decided to get back into shape. I went for a jog around my neighborhood. The ice cream truck followed me for my whole jog, mocking me. FML

#17703209
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31866) - you deserved it (3818)

On 09/09/2011 at 9:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was in my car with my window down at a red light. Outside, a sweet old lady was sitting on a bench with her dog sleeping next to her. I yelled out the window to tell her how cute her dog was. She replied, "He's dead" and cried. FML

#17639709
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30917) - you deserved it (4181)

On 09/01/2011 at 10:29pm - animals - by macattack (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend of six months broke up with me because I didn't know what her favorite ice cream was. She says it proves I don't care enough about her. I don't think I've ever seen her eat ice cream. FML

#17628013
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26509) - you deserved it (3399)

On 08/31/2011 at 5:16am - love - by wtf3456 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my obnoxious mother-in-law berated me in front of my husband's family for still working while pregnant. She says I'm harming the baby by not quitting. I'm only 4 months pregnant and I work as a nurse at a hospital. FML

#17556987
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29513) - you deserved it (2234)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:51am - health - by monsterinlaw (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)



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