About NewMetalGirl : I love metalcore, it is THE best music genre out there. My favorite bands are Atreyu, Bullet For My Valentine, Five Finger Death Punch, A Day To Remember, Pierce The Veil, Falling In Reverse, Black Veil Brides. I LOVE music, I would either be insane or dead without it. Message me if you want to know more about me.
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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
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Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25685) - you deserved it (3908)
On 06/07/2012 at 1:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I almost got kidnapped. Again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25489) - you deserved it (3678)
On 05/31/2012 at 1:28am - misc - by gonavybeatarmy - United States (California)
Today, I almost got kidnapped. Again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25489) - you deserved it (3678)
On 05/31/2012 at 1:28am - misc - by gonavybeatarmy - United States (California)
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31303) - you deserved it (2939) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and posted it on Facebook. When I checked it later, it had 20 comments on the picture. I was feeling good until I read the comments and looked at the picture again. I left my vibrator on the the bathroom counter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8405) - you deserved it (49762)
On 05/12/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Hunter101 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19985) - you deserved it (2639)
On 04/17/2012 at 2:13pm - intimacy - by blocked_by_fire (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24459) - you deserved it (1904)
On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I found out that I can get my girlfriend to make more sex noises by massaging her back than I can by actually having sex with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16580) - you deserved it (5784)
On 04/16/2012 at 9:59pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I had to re-grade a student's assignments because neither he, nor his parents can read "Spanish." I'd written in cursive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22191) - you deserved it (3089)
On 03/22/2012 at 1:13am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, the subject of penis size came up while my boyfriend and I were chatting. He asked if he was big, and I replied that whatever size he was, he was enough to satisfy me. Apparently, that was the wrong answer, and he spent the rest of the night sulking because I didn't say he was enormous. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18251) - you deserved it (8846)
On 03/21/2012 at 12:25pm - intimacy - by tellingthetruth (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Today, I realized I've never had sex with someone who was sober at the time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16451) - you deserved it (12792)
On 03/01/2012 at 6:35am - intimacy - by ShitFaced (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6920) - you deserved it (21279)
On 02/24/2012 at 2:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my boyfriend came with me to my first prenatal gynecologist appointment. Half way through the pap smear, I look over and see him grinning pervertedly and staring down the doctor's shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22565) - you deserved it (3265)
On 02/14/2012 at 2:19pm - love - by unicorn - United States
Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25683) - you deserved it (3778)
On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom
Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25015) - you deserved it (4424)
On 01/09/2012 at 1:14am - love - by Whyme (woman) - United States (Texas)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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