Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

NewMetalGirl

Search for a member

NewMetalGirl
  • Town/Country : Wisconsin, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 276
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About NewMetalGirl : I love metalcore, it is THE best music genre out there. My favorite bands are Atreyu, Bullet For My Valentine, Five Finger Death Punch, A Day To Remember, Pierce The Veil, Falling In Reverse, Black Veil Brides. I LOVE music, I would either be insane or dead without it. Message me if you want to know more about me.

NewMetalGirl's last visitors

decimaterphilbelfrageaa1717thebestintheworlBunchieRulesmoksha

NewMetalGirl's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of NewMetalGirl's badges

NewMetalGirl's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to play Twister. Her parents watched us the whole time, making sure we didn't touch. FML

#20100263
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17475) - you deserved it (1446)

On 10/03/2012 at 6:03pm - misc - by its just twister (man) - United States (California)

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML

#20095343
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20743) - you deserved it (2400)

On 09/30/2012 at 3:37pm - intimacy - by whatswrongwithit?:( (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML

#20095343
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20743) - you deserved it (2400)

On 09/30/2012 at 3:37pm - intimacy - by whatswrongwithit?:( (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had three things stolen: my phone, my iPod, and my girlfriend. All by the same guy. FML

#20094866
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25402) - you deserved it (2085)

On 09/30/2012 at 8:56am - love - by Shortround - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

#20094500
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19772) - you deserved it (3399)

On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML

#20094225
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18055) - you deserved it (2814)

On 09/29/2012 at 9:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that guys will only flirt with me when they're drunk, and even then only when they realize that my best friend is out of their league. FML

#20093311
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13595) - you deserved it (1350)

On 09/29/2012 at 7:16am - love - by kfenton - United States

Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML

#20092519
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7993) - you deserved it (30542)

On 09/28/2012 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML

#20092313
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24507) - you deserved it (4521)

On 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he came. This was a good thing, except when he did he started bellowing the Imperial March theme from Star Wars. When I asked him about it, all he said was, "I thought you'd like it." FML

#20089963
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13891) - you deserved it (2277)

On 09/26/2012 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by wickedbeauty333 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my step-brother had some serious bowel distress and rushed to the bathroom. Because he forgot to quit his group chat with his buddies, I quickly found out that the reason he's so over-protective, and hostile to my male friends, is because he wants to get into my pants. FML

#20085042
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20421) - you deserved it (1505)

On 09/23/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by creepedasfuck (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML

#20084737
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18517) - you deserved it (8107)

On 09/23/2012 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML

#20083352
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17107) - you deserved it (16431)

On 09/22/2012 at 10:06am - intimacy - by holyshitbatman - United States (Illinois)

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

#20081762
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15533) - you deserved it (8255)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter and her boyfriend excitedly told me that after months of trying they are finally pregnant and that I'm going to be a grandmother. This would be great news if they weren't 15. FML

#20077962
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35420) - you deserved it (4576)

On 09/18/2012 at 4:20pm - health - by GMD (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML’s Roommates from hell
  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: