Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

NewMetalGirl

Search for a member

NewMetalGirl

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2727
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About NewMetalGirl : I love metalcore, it is THE best music genre out there. My favorite bands are Atreyu, Bullet For My Valentine, Five Finger Death Punch, A Day To Remember, Pierce The Veil, Falling In Reverse, Black Veil Brides. I LOVE music, I would either be insane or dead without it. Message me if you want to know more about me.

NewMetalGirl's page activity

Visits<b>adamo_erebus</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 8:44am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 7:23am<b>KayCee2000</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 5:26pm<b>toeeknee_</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 10:14am<b>valerieodonnell</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 12:35am<b>decimater</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 5:50pm<b>sergysalazar</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 12:43pm<b>philbelfrage</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 2:36pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 10:33am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 01/05/2013 at 9:07am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 12/21/2012 at 11:53pm<b>moksha</b> - the 09/16/2012 at 4:44am

NewMetalGirl's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of NewMetalGirl's badges

NewMetalGirl's favorite FMLs

Today... I was checking into a hotel with mah boyfriend. A few minutes after we get to our room... the cops show up to our door asking to see some ID from the both of us. The hotel staff had called the cops on us cuz they thought I was underage and he was going to molest me. I'm 21 and he is 24. FML

#5419115
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37847) - you deserved it (2700)

On 09/22/2009 at 7:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today , I woke up from a nap on ma new bd to see ma pone lit up wit new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out ma new bd?" as a mass text wile I was asleep to every boy in ma pone. Mark will be ere in an our , Jon wants to know wat I'm wearing , an ma ex's new grlfriend is not amusd. FML

#5378920
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37142) - you deserved it (3460)

On 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anathema_360 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Yesterday , mah wife an I were doing ithen the phone rang!! looool She answered it , an rode mehile carrying on a more than a five minute conversation with her father!! FML

#5211678
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25151) - you deserved it (3875)

On 09/12/2009 at 6:13pm - intimacy - by 0ros (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today , I got out of the shower to fine my cat staring up at me . Apparently my swinging penis looks like a cat toy to her , so she jumped up an clawed an tried to bite it . FML

#5189788
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41236) - you deserved it (6735)

On 09/11/2009 at 4:46pm - animals - by ouchh (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting on my boyfriends lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each other's company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said ( I can feel yur heartbeat on my dick. ) FML

#5136668
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21939) - you deserved it (4368)

On 09/08/2009 at 9:26pm - intimacy - by awkwardbf (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at a party wit my boyfriend. Tere were some tents set up out te back so we decided to go in one. Wen we came out we got wierd looks. It turns out my friend ad turned on some ligts biend te tent, sowing a uge silouette of me giving ead. FML

#5102610
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9136) - you deserved it (30167)

On 09/07/2009 at 10:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I told my grlfriend that her mom doesn't give us any privacyhen we're at there place. I suggested that we go to my place fir a change, and she agreed. Her mom called my house three times to see wat we were doing. We're well beyond teenagers. FML

#4992541
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42761) - you deserved it (3411)

On 09/02/2009 at 1:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was taking a shower outside at mah fiancé's beach house. I was struggling to take mah bikini bottoms off so I startd to walk backwards to step out of it. Little did I know that I had pushd the door open. My fiancé, his family, an mah family all saw me bend over nakd. FML

#4895922
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34148) - you deserved it (7840)

On 08/29/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly nieghbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML

#4861565
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41439) - you deserved it (19483)

On 08/27/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I accidentally ran mah thumb down the cheese graterhile preparing lunch beside mah wife!! I instantly jerked mah hand looool away from the grater just in time run mah forearm across the knife she was using!! I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in mah arm, no lunch, and a puking wife!! FML

#4837442
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47830) - you deserved it (4114)

On 08/26/2009 at 2:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

yesterday I was at te bar and my friend and I were making fun of tis guy wearing a Affliction muscle tee and bedazzld Ed Hardy at. We were saying ow e was te epitome of a douce bag and tat e probably likes UFC. Turns out e's an MMA figter and I now ave a broken nose. FML

#4827023
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9345) - you deserved it (61969)

On 08/26/2009 at 12:40am - misc - by brokennose (man) - United States (Texas)

TODAY, I GOT A NEW CELL PONE. I WAS TEXTING PICTURES FROM MY OLD PONE TO MY NEW ONE, INCLUDING SEVERAL DIRTY ONES,EN I NOTICD I WASN'T RECIEVING ANY OF TEM ON TE NEW PONE. I WAS TEXTING TE WRONG NUMBER. FML

#4792669
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11454) - you deserved it (55948)

On 08/24/2009 at 7:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay an that friend was lover. After 15 agonizing minute of this, we get to practice only to be greeted by shirtles friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, u hit me hard last night."

#4421825
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76175) - you deserved it (6573)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while mah boyfriend and I were having sex, I had mah frst orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stoppd. FML

#4342060
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61532) - you deserved it (7570)

On 08/06/2009 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I laarnad that a spontanaous romantic gastura of arriving homa aarly with flowars an wina is not walcomahan your wifa is busy having sax with your brothar. FML

#4306475
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (121023) - you deserved it (4891)

On 08/05/2009 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: