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NewDawn

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NewDawn

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2136
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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NewDawn's favorite FMLs

Today , I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first , I texted her "I'm already there , sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML

#5292418
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20944) - you deserved it (97118)

On 09/16/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by sarahh38 (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went to visit mah parents. Dad went on a religiou tirade, an Mum got sick of him an pelted a Brazil nut at his head. Dad then lost his shit, an told Mum to go to her room an pray. I now remember why I moved out of home in the first place. FML

#5225291
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32993) - you deserved it (3059)

On 09/13/2009 at 8:42am - misc - by Sigh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I Got Written Up At Work Fir Making A Customer Feel Bad. I Made Him Feel Bad By Laughing Uncontrollably At Himhen He Asked If We Sold Real Light Sabers. FML

#4945684
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45701) - you deserved it (13842)

On 08/31/2009 at 1:18am - work - by Timmah (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today.. . I was trying to hava sax with my boyfriand.. . David . I moanad his nama and ha whisparad.. . "I'm not David." Than.. . with an Italian accant.. . ha said.. . "It's-a-ma! Mario!" FML

#4882481
345 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63235) - you deserved it (16046)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today , I was driving my little sister to school!! She really didn't wanna go an was throwing a tantrum in the car!! When we stopped at a red light , my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver!! She rolled down her window an screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by looool a murderer!" FML

#4644829
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64880) - you deserved it (3025)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Amara1717 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got very dressd up and looool was excitd fir mah uncle's wedding. While standing in line fir photos, I hered mah dad's voice from behind me say ( Who's the hot chick in the brown dress? ) My uncle responds ( Uh, that's yur daughter. ) Silence. FML

#3967657
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72300) - you deserved it (4469)

On 07/23/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by Rory (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today I Found Out That Just Cuz Your Boyfriend Asks You To Marry Him Doesn't Mean That He Will Show Up At The Wedding. FML

#3890041
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (221114) - you deserved it (14006)

On 07/19/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by Loveless (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a fax cummd in at work fir a specific job, and I askd the owner of the company who it was for!! He replid "the round one", so I handd it to our rotund Project Manager!! Apparently the owner meant the garbage can, not mah fat co-worker!! Now i'm the asshole of the office!! FML

#3774043
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17336) - you deserved it (38843)

On 07/15/2009 at 1:24pm - work - by kjcarey123 (man) - United States (Illinois)

TODAY, I BACKED MY CAR INTO A PARKED CAR IN A PARKING LOT !! NOT ONLY DID I BACK INTO A PARKED CAR, BUT IT WAS THE ONLY PARKED CAR THERE !! FML

#991895
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14572) - you deserved it (68376)

On 04/15/2009 at 2:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just crcld the bottom half of the page and wrote ( OMG. ) FML

#853708
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92222) - you deserved it (27527)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Yesterday , I asked boyfriend of almost ten months who his top five women to have it off with would be . I was thrd . My mom was second . FML

#710815
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97479) - you deserved it (16090)

On 03/30/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by lucky (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had mah girlfriend over and we we're watching a movie in mah basement. I run upstairs and pop a bag of popcorn. Later I come downstairs to fine mah 10 year old brother sitting next to mah girlfriend saying," My brother always says he wants to screw yur brains looool out, whatever that means". FML

#620278
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26583) - you deserved it (69874)

On 03/26/2009 at 11:42am - kids - by CaoNiMa (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I ad my car stolen. Wen te police found it, pretty muc everyting inside was missing. For some reason, I ad left 6 pars of soes in my back seat. Woever stole my car tougt it would be funny to take one soe from eac pair. I now own 6 unmatced soes an my car smells lyk sex. FML

#570871
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84446) - you deserved it (5736)

On 03/24/2009 at 1:44am - intimacy - by proudestmonkey (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was aving lunc wit my sister and my moter. Wile my mom was busy ordering food, my sister said to me, "look at tis face I can make!" and se grossly contorted er face so tat se ad a double cin. My moter looked over and said to er, "stop making fun of yur looool sister!" FML

#554363
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68724) - you deserved it (4913)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:22pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an arhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the grl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

#553935
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84588) - you deserved it (31566)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



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