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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today , I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first , I texted her "I'm already there , sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML
Today, I went to visit mah parents. Dad went on a religiou tirade, an Mum got sick of him an pelted a Brazil nut at his head. Dad then lost his shit, an told Mum to go to her room an pray. I now remember why I moved out of home in the first place. FML
Today , I was driving my little sister to school!! She really didn't wanna go an was throwing a tantrum in the car!! When we stopped at a red light , my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver!! She rolled down her window an screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by looool a murderer!" FML
Today, I got very dressd up and looool was excitd fir mah uncle's wedding. While standing in line fir photos, I hered mah dad's voice from behind me say ( Who's the hot chick in the brown dress? ) My uncle responds ( Uh, that's yur daughter. ) Silence. FML
Today, a fax cummd in at work fir a specific job, and I askd the owner of the company who it was for!! He replid "the round one", so I handd it to our rotund Project Manager!! Apparently the owner meant the garbage can, not mah fat co-worker!! Now i'm the asshole of the office!! FML
Today, I had mah girlfriend over and we we're watching a movie in mah basement. I run upstairs and pop a bag of popcorn. Later I come downstairs to fine mah 10 year old brother sitting next to mah girlfriend saying," My brother always says he wants to screw yur brains looool out, whatever that means". FML
Today, I ad my car stolen. Wen te police found it, pretty muc everyting inside was missing. For some reason, I ad left 6 pars of soes in my back seat. Woever stole my car tougt it would be funny to take one soe from eac pair. I now own 6 unmatced soes an my car smells lyk sex. FML
Today, I was aving lunc wit my sister and my moter. Wile my mom was busy ordering food, my sister said to me, "look at tis face I can make!" and se grossly contorted er face so tat se ad a double cin. My moter looked over and said to er, "stop making fun of yur looool sister!" FML
Friday 27 March 2015