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Nemesis2747

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Nemesis2747
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 26846
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

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Nemesis2747's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked past two guys on the street. I heard one of them whisper, "Jeez, that girl looks like Donald Trump." FML

#13268131
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21657) - you deserved it (3193)

On 09/30/2010 at 8:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I passed out at a party after having a few too many, as one does. I woke up with swastikas and penises drawn on my face with permanent marker. I now have to go home, using public transport, to my prudish, Jewish dad who thought I was at my friend's house for a sleepover with no alcohol. FML

Today, while working at McDonald's, a woman asked me what came on a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. Trying not to laugh, I respond, "Bacon, egg, and cheese." She then realizes the stupidity of her question, and launches three dollars worth of quarters at my face and says, "Laugh at that, jerk." FML

#13212563
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27503) - you deserved it (5283)

On 09/26/2010 at 7:14pm - work - by lyssuhhhh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I turned 18. My parents remembered that I loved German chocolate cake, so I awoke to a hot, fudge-filled chocolate cake with a slice cut out just for me. I've been lactose-intolerant for 8 years. As I cried, my mom handed me tissues, while eating the "Happy" part of my cake. FML

#13006773
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22953) - you deserved it (4834)

On 09/11/2010 at 5:46pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML

#12975254
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30142) - you deserved it (3527)

On 09/09/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for the chicken I bought four days ago. I finally found it - not in the refrigerator, not in the freezer, but in the trunk of my car, which now smells like a dead animal. FML

#12968691
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6307) - you deserved it (24703)

On 09/08/2010 at 9:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was applying Icy Hot. I squeezed the bottle too hard making it squirt in my eye. I ran to the bathroom in agony, turned on the faucet, and slammed my face right into it. FML

#12887269
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26551) - you deserved it (6081)

On 09/03/2010 at 3:59pm - health - by Jesska (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I heard two of my students having a conversation. One asked what state Arizona was in, and the other replied Canada. I teach sixth grade social studies and they weren't joking. FML

#12837057
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30374) - you deserved it (7582)

On 08/31/2010 at 10:50am - kids - by teacher (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37610) - you deserved it (14405)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to use my butthole to negotiate with my husband so I can get a new tattoo. FML

#12753768
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12875) - you deserved it (45846)

On 08/26/2010 at 9:32am - intimacy - by H8TR (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after a costly fix for my brakes that failed a while back as I was going down a hill, I found a $130 bill in the mail attached to a speed camera photo of me shitting myself. FML

#12657021
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24328) - you deserved it (3381)

On 08/21/2010 at 1:25am - money - by car (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, one of my cousins offered to sell me his mac for a low price. When I got it, I realized it was an old toshiba painted white with an apple sticker on it. My cousin still insists it's a mac. FML

#12612052
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15118) - you deserved it (26061)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:53pm - misc - by roflcopter (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my fiancé invited his pregnant co-worker for dinner. After we finished eating, he sat down and explained to me that her kid is his and that he's been cheating on me with her for 5 months. She had a smile on her face during the entire thing. FML

#12284629
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70692) - you deserved it (4066)

On 08/03/2010 at 8:11am - love - by Broken (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Abu Dhabi)

Today, I discovered our AOL billing information. Turns out we've been paying for dial-up via automatic bill paying that we thought we cancelled in 2000. $1,800 later, we called to cancel. Customer service congratulated us on being loyal members for over 13 years. FML

#12266156
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13946) - you deserved it (19907)

On 08/02/2010 at 1:23pm - money - by Jay (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I applied for a job and sent my CV, then realised I sent the example CV I got off the internet. Now they think Bob Brown who lives at 123 Sunshine Street is applying for a job. FML

#12261661
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8072) - you deserved it (32100)

On 08/02/2010 at 5:50am - work - by Julia (woman) - New Zealand (Otago)



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