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Nemesis2747

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Nemesis2747

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 28150
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

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Nemesis2747's page activity

Visits<b>ben12114</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 5:58pm<b>Horsempeg</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 1:05am<b>wilsone</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 1:08am<b>Chelsea_bella</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 10:42pm<b>Satchel1975</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 4:09am<b>Luminosity4</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 3:29pm<b>Girosrabing</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 9:14pm<b>masika15</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 9:10pm<b>sarah1024</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 8:09pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 1:36pm<b>Mads_1234</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 5:14pm<b>Vic888</b> - the 04/23/2013 at 9:26pm<b>cherrypieguy</b> - the 06/09/2010 at 6:16pm<b>daydreamstar</b> - the 01/09/2010 at 1:23pm<b>riababyy</b> - the 01/05/2010 at 3:34am<b>funny7777</b> - the 12/24/2009 at 9:57pm<b>Tea_bag</b> - the 07/16/2009 at 6:22am<b>llllight</b> - the 07/04/2009 at 2:52pm

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50 favourites

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Nemesis2747's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend was making salsa and got jalepeno juice all over his mouth. A little bit later, he started going down me. He hadn't washed his mouth. FML

#14074806
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36923) - you deserved it (5156)

On 12/03/2010 at 7:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I lied when my therapist asked why I preferred Tuesday morning appointments. It's actually because World of Warcraft is down for regularly scheduled maintenance. FML

#14034563
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10075) - you deserved it (33006)

On 11/30/2010 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML

#14000546
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14448) - you deserved it (38602)

On 11/27/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I arrived home to find my cat dead and note saying, "Sorry, I tripped over him." Not only is my cat dead, but I was robbed by a polite thief. FML

#13841741
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55427) - you deserved it (2702)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML

#13837705
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28222) - you deserved it (4584)

On 11/14/2010 at 4:42am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, b*tch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML

#13827261
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11784) - you deserved it (49860)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, at work I was looking for my lost wallet. After hours of looking I gave up and went home. The wallet then shows up in my mail box with an envelope marked "To the asshole." I opened the letter and it was filled with poop. My wallet too. FML

#13811167
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27329) - you deserved it (4453)

On 11/12/2010 at 2:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, one of my husband's old college buddies came over for dinner. We reminisced about our college days, and he laughed as he told the story about my husband making up a friend, Marc Deveau, that he'd say he was visiting when he was cheating on his girlfriend. My husband still sees Marc Deveau. FML

#13798665
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59014) - you deserved it (3413) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/11/2010 at 3:40am - love - by Anonymous - France

Today, I am 3 months pregnant. While lying on the couch with morning sickness, my boyfriend farted loudly and filled the room with a smell so horrifying that I immediately threw up all over my coffee table. He spent the next 20 minutes texting his friends about this "epic" moment. FML

#13777689
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38495) - you deserved it (6898)

On 11/09/2010 at 1:32pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was sucking on a Tic Tac. Just as I was starting to get into it, the Tic-Tac suddenly shot down my throat. After a minute of coughing and gagging, it came back up... out my left nostril. FML

#13652209
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33264) - you deserved it (5662)

On 10/30/2010 at 5:28pm - health - by DeepTaccer (man) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, I found out my boyfriend watches porn. Specifically, today, while I was in the shower. In the next room. We were alone in the house and he still chose porn. FML

#13585816
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27312) - you deserved it (6352)

On 10/25/2010 at 1:42am - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I woke up to shit on my floor and my cat hiding under my comforter. I have to get rid of my new fish because my cat is afraid of it. FML

#13581194
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22316) - you deserved it (2951)

On 10/24/2010 at 8:36pm - animals - by danjoylovefun - United States (Colorado)

Today, my dad got a new phone and put me on speed dial. I have received several voice mails from him accidentally dialed. They are from him riding the train, in a meeting, having lunch, and, most recently, him taking a monstrous dump. FML

#13527563
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26911) - you deserved it (2931)

On 10/20/2010 at 6:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my doctor confirmed that the extreme pain I've been experiencing is due to a kidney stone. My friend decided this was the time to tell me that passing a kidney stone is the male equivalent of child birth. Hello even more pain. FML

#13499109
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22892) - you deserved it (4006)

On 10/18/2010 at 2:02pm - health - by bjevilcat2 - United States

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

#13318955
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70017) - you deserved it (7881)

On 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



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