Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Neko_Lawliet

Search for a member

Neko_Lawliet

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 June 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 385
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Neko_Lawliet : Hi, my name's Alyssa.
I spend almost all of my time that I'm not in school listening to music.
I'm also majorly obsessed with Doctor Who, Harry Potter and manga/anime.
If you message me it will probably take me AGES to respond because I use the phone app thingy but feel free. (:

Neko_Lawliet's page activity

Visits<b>Insane94</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 11:12am<b>JazzmanJB</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 4:09pm<b>CaptainFoxbutt</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 11:10pm<b>dzhonatan</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 1:26am<b>crazyful303</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 10:41pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 7:25pm

Neko_Lawliet's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of Neko_Lawliet's badges

Neko_Lawliet's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm left with two non-refundable tickets to Jamaica, because my now ex-boyfriend said his Quidditch tournament is more important than seeing my "fat ass in a bikini". FML

#20745099
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47911) - you deserved it (5964)

On 06/24/2013 at 7:24pm - love - by afraid of flying too - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58497) - you deserved it (3810)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML

#20726673
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47792) - you deserved it (20193)

On 06/15/2013 at 12:19am - kids - by Jill (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54923) - you deserved it (64048)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my parents blew my entire college fund in their quest to finish building their replica Hobbit house in our back yard. FML

#20703566
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58805) - you deserved it (5747)

On 06/03/2013 at 3:22pm - money - by future burger flipper (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me while screaming, "My precious!" FML

#20701776
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42882) - you deserved it (6973)

On 06/02/2013 at 6:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)

Today, after months of being pestered to do so, I finally read the first Harry Potter book. I hated it. Upon hearing this, my girlfriend posted the fact on Facebook, where I immediately received tons of abuse and eventual shunning by my friends, family, and coworkers. My girlfriend just laughed. FML

#20683433
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34764) - you deserved it (41662)

On 05/24/2013 at 8:26am - misc - by obnum - United States (New York)

Today, my mom accused my cat of being a "manipulator", and said that we should get rid of him. FML

#20683274
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33695) - you deserved it (4131)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:04am - animals - by seriously - United States

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

#20564125
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33323) - you deserved it (15246)

On 03/28/2013 at 4:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, when I got home, my child had three bruises. My babysitter's excuse? "She hit me first". FML

#20538066
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48207) - you deserved it (5984)

On 03/10/2013 at 12:08pm - kids - by Amanda - Canada

Today, a woman strapped her 8-year-old son into the seat next to me on a transatlantic flight. Thinking they'd been unable to book seats together, I offered to swap seats with her. She said she'd booked it this way intentionally, because he's a "fucking brat" on flights. She was right. FML

#20513411
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42714) - you deserved it (2236)

On 02/19/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by Sigh (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon" and ended the same conversation with "and that's why we should divorce." FML

#20495499
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43076) - you deserved it (4008)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:38am - love - by PokeWife (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, the guy that I've liked for a while but never had the courage to talk to was wearing a TARDIS shirt. I jokingly asked, "Are you the Doctor?" His response was for me to "Go away, f***ing nerd." FML

#20492128
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32781) - you deserved it (4004)

On 02/03/2013 at 9:16pm - love - by guessnot (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

#20402533
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27046) - you deserved it (12824)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, a woman on the train demanded I give up my seat for her, claiming it was for people with disabilities. Tired from a long day at work, and seeing she had nothing wrong with her, I asked what her disability was. Apparently, obesity is one. FML

#20152323
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28378) - you deserved it (1900)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by NotAnExcuse (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: