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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Needlestick

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Needlestick
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 326
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Needlestick : At some point, I'll put something here...

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Needlestick's favorite FMLs

Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." FML

#4699130 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (9786) - you deserved it (33533)

On 08/21/2009 at 1:18am - kids - by Mak10 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my suburban, white boyfriend of two years told me he wanted to tell me something serious. He sat me down, looked me in the eye and said "I want to be gangster." I started laughing thinking he was joking. He was 100% serious. FML

#3600725 (300)

I agree, your life sucks (49231) - you deserved it (5208)

On 07/09/2009 at 1:17am - love - by hatboxghost (man) - United States

Today, my cat kept sneezing all morning so I took her to the vet. $150 later and the vet says she's fine. I get home and the noise starts up again. My automatic air freshener spray sounds just like my cat sneezing. FML

#2107196 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (11976) - you deserved it (34923)

On 05/20/2009 at 5:07am - animals - by catlover (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

#1550190 (368)

I agree, your life sucks (111569) - you deserved it (26062)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in a tour group going through a cave and our guide stopped, turned off the lights, and told us to be quiet so we could feel absolute silence. I farted. FML

#1224721 (195)

I agree, your life sucks (21036) - you deserved it (41764)

On 04/22/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by fartmaster (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I sat next to an attractive punk/rock guy on a plane. I decided to try to impress by playing music I thought he would like. I clicked The Who and opened a large window with the album cover, so he could see. The track then shuffled, and he was face to with a giant image of Miley Cyrus. FML

#333328 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (9873) - you deserved it (82214)

On 03/15/2009 at 12:22am - love - by UH-OH (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

#287682 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (97502) - you deserved it (13062)

On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

#278783 (313)

I agree, your life sucks (43643) - you deserved it (78435)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up at my grandparents house since my mom was out of town, still half asleep i went to brush my teeth. Mid brush my mouth started getting numb I looked again at the tooth paste I used..turns out it was my grandpa's anti-itch anal cream. FML

#245062 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (53660) - you deserved it (14934)

On 03/08/2009 at 7:57pm - misc - by poop - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was going to a Harry Potter convention since I love the books so much. On my drive there I got lost, and it only got worse when my car broke down. Since I forgot my cell phone I decided to try and hitch a ride. I stood on the side of a road for two hours dressed like Ron Weasley. FML

#238492 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (21366) - you deserved it (45327)

On 03/07/2009 at 11:03pm - misc - by GrLifeusx (man) - United States (New York)