Needafarm

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Needafarm

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 3 December 1977 (38 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2730
  • Number of comments : 313
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 78 posted

About Needafarm : Newly married to the best guy ever, even when he annoys me.
Was a vegetarian for 16 years until last year. I only eat sustainably farmed meat now but still love my veggies.
Love movies with Bruce Willis.
Looking for a house with a bit of land to raise some poultry and goats or a cow or two and build a greenhouse.

Needafarm's page activity

Visits<b>bobmcmuffin</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 5:38pm<b>delfino1604</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 7:27am<b>seenoevil818</b> - the 06/02/2016 at 11:09am<b>burgermike92</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 12:43pm<b>TyrantOverSeer</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 2:15pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 12:26pm<b>mrchachie</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 3:40pm<b>psmith78332</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 6:16pm<b>Furby94</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 9:12pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 11:52pm<b>ckibb97</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 6:26pm<b>rnarshmallow</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 6:02pm<b>A_Rabid_Dear</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 1:48am<b>airassault</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 1:54pm<b>colinabi</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 5:12pm<b>olillia</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 10:10pm<b>Jonny_Blaze0017</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 1:32pm<b>Turian_Renegade</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 7:08pm

Fucked!<b>delfino1604</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 7:53pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 5:26am

Needafarm's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Needafarm's badges

Needafarm's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked a passenger what he wanted to drink. When he said marijuana, I started making pot jokes. He really asked for mineral water. I was given a drug test when we landed. FML

by stewardess / 10/02/2014 at 9:55pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was denounced for being a terrible person, because my family raises chickens, some of which we eat. I was then told how cruel I am for "killing innocent birds" and that "good" people buy their meat from the supermarket. FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2013 at 2:01pm / Mexico (Baja California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandmother has been complaining that I spend too much on food, so I started cooking food from scratch. I happily showed her my recipe book and encouraged her to try a few. She then mocked me for wasting time by not buying frozen food. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2013 at 6:49am / United States / Money

Today, after working out at the gym, I went to grab my bag, and realized that my phone was missing. Panicking, I reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone, and dialed my mom's number to tell her I'd lost it. It took me until the last ring to realize what I was doing. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 2:02am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting, and I had to pee really, really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off, and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in tears, their child screamed, "No, no, pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML

by soaked / 02/25/2013 at 2:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML

by happybirthday / 08/12/2012 at 1:49am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

by diggingaplotforone / 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came out of the closet. I came out on Facebook to spare myself awkward conversations and gossip. I wrote a deeply meaningful status about my partner and my pride in who I was. The only responses were, "Lol", "Hacked", and similar remarks. FML

by OutOfTheCloset / 06/02/2012 at 2:50am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the hospital for stomach pains, and was told that it sounds like I have an ovarian cyst. My mom went into a rage, screaming that I'd lied to her about being a virgin. Despite the doctor explaining that sexual activity has nothing to do with it, she refuses to believe him. FML

by Briscuit / 06/01/2012 at 5:05pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after years of lobbying for a travel job, I'm finally in Africa. Everything I eat or drink comes violently back out both directions. When I don't eat or drink, I pass out. Essentially I have to choose between illness and consciousness. Hello, fabulous new job. FML

by sicksicksick / 06/01/2012 at 4:41am / Senegal / Health

Today, Child Protective Services came to my house, because my 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt weird. FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2012 at 3:02am / United States / Kids

Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2012 at 3:03pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad started his mid-life crisis. Instead of a Porsche or a Ferrari, he bought a tractor. Goodbye summer holiday. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2012 at 6:22am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I was so broke I went to Costco, not to buy anything, but to eat their free food samples. FML

by thedri11 / 05/30/2012 at 9:52pm / United States (California) / Money