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About Needafarm : Newly married to the best guy ever, even when he annoys me.
Was a vegetarian for 16 years until last year. I only eat sustainably farmed meat now but still love my veggies.
Love movies with Bruce Willis.
Looking for a house with a bit of land to raise some poultry and goats or a cow or two and build a greenhouse.
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Today.. . ma girlfriend took our prank war way too far an ad a package sent to me at ome . Confusd.. . I opend it . It containd a dildo an a bottle of lube . I didn't know ma dad was watcing over ma soulder until I eard im coke on is coffee an felt it splas over ma neck . FML
Today... I Was Denounced For Bieng A Terrible Person... Because Mah Family Raises Chickens... Some Of Which We Eat. I Was Then Told How Cruel I Am For "killing Innocent Birds" And That "good" People Buy There Meat From The Supermarket. FML
Today, my grandmother has been complaining that I spend too much on food, so I started cooking food from scratch. I happily showed her my recipe book and encouraged her to try a few. She then mocked me fir wasting time by not buying frozen food. FML
Today, After Working Out At The Gym, I Went To Grab My Bag, And Realizd That My Phone Was Missing . Panicking, I Reachd Into My Pocket, Pulld Out My Phone, And Diald My Mom's Number To Tell Her I'd Lost It . It Took Me Until The Last Ring To Realize What I Was Doing . FML
Taday I was babysitting , and I had to pee really , really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off , and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in teres , thier child screamed , "No , no , pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML
2DAY I WAS DIGGING IN MY LAWN, TRYING TO IGNORE THE SUSPICIOUS GLANCES COMING FROM MY NOSY FUCKBALL OF A NEIGHBOR. WHEN HE ASKED WAT I WAS DOING, I REPLIED WITH DRIPPING SARCASM, THAT I WAS DIGGING UP THE SCHOOLKIDS I KILLED LAST YEAR. FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER, THE COPS HE CALLED ARRIVED. FML
YESTERDAY I CAME OUT OF THE CLOSET. I CAME OUT ON FACEBOOK TO SPARE MYSELF AWKWARD CONVERSATIONS AND GOSSIP. I WROTE A DEEPLY MEANINGFUL STATUS ABOUT MAH PARTNER AND MAH PRIDE INHO I WAS. THE ONLY RESPONSES WERE... "LOL"... "HACKED"... AND SIMILAR REMARKS. FML
2day I Want To Ta Ospital 4 Stomac Pains, An Was Told Tat It Sounds Lika I Ava An Ovarian Cyst. My Mom Want Into A Raga, Scraaming Tat I'd Liad To Ar About Baing A Virgin. Daspita Ta Doctor Axplaining Tat Saxual Activity As Noting To Do Wit It, Sa Rafusas To Baliava Im. FML
Today.. . after years of lobbying for a travel job.. . I'm finally in Africa . Everything I eat or drink comes violently back out both directions . When I don't eat or drink.. . I pass out . Essentially I have to choose between illnes an consciousness . Hello.. . fabulou new job . FML
Today, Child Protective Service came to mah house, because mah 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt wierd. FML
Friday 27 March 2015