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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 January 1985 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1304
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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NatzSwifey's page activity

Visits<b>KoGWitness</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 7:58am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:30pm<b>crzyry</b> - the 01/06/2010 at 6:51am<b>kelmo12</b> - the 12/25/2009 at 6:50am<b>areveillon</b> - the 12/20/2009 at 9:50am

NatzSwifey's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

NatzSwifey's favorite FMLs


by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek

Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me a magic trick. He filled a bowl with wine, pushed it on top of the ceiling using a broom stick, and held it up there. He told me to hold it and left. Taking my hands off the broomstick would cause the bowl to fall on my expensive new suit. Eventually, it did. FML

by Anonymous / 11/15/2010 at 10:57am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I discovered our AOL billing information. Turns out we've been paying for dial-up via automatic bill paying that we thought we cancelled in 2000. $1,800 later, we called to cancel. Customer service congratulated us on being loyal members for over 13 years. FML

by Jay / 08/02/2010 at 1:23pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, I discovered my step mom had thrown out my baby blanket because it was an "eyesore". It was an heirloom from my birth mother and the only thing I have left from her. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2010 at 3:53pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML

by eggnoodles / 12/13/2009 at 12:44am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I parked my convertible in the 5 minute bay at the post office. When I came back out I noticed a bum in the front seat pretending to drive it. After shouting at him and pulling him out, he stumbled off. I was then slapped with a ticket for being parked longer than 5 minutes. FML

by John / 11/15/2009 at 1:08am / Australia (Queensland) / Transportation

Today, my 7 year old brother decided that it would be fun to cut off my hair. I woke from a long nap after working the late shift, to about 15 inches of my long blonde hair all over my bed and floor. I now have bloody bald spots and really choppy hair about 3 inches long. He got away with it. FML

by baldygirl / 11/02/2009 at 3:04pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to babysit eight kids under the age of ten, all by myself. After five hours of Hell, the parents finally came back from the ASU game. I got paid $5. FML

by JazzyandAlice / 09/20/2009 at 2:06am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the gas station I work a lady called wanting to know the "password" and if I was okay. Thinking it was a prank I hung up. A couple of minutes later she called back, this time asking if I could see the cops outside and telling me I'd be alright. I saw four of 'em. I'd hit the silent alarm by accident. FML

by Keldar / 08/19/2009 at 3:53am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML

by Flicker / 05/14/2009 at 3:23am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working at my tanning salon, a woman came in and I put her in a booth, which are all stand up. After she comes out, I go in to clean it and realize that floor is all wet. I questioned her about it and she replies, "Oh, I peed, that's not a drain?". FML

by lover21 / 05/08/2009 at 7:17pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my mom was helping me clean out stuff from college. She opened a box and took out some anal beads I got as a gag gift. She asked, "What are these?" I answered, "They are for massaging your back". She then insisted I show her. I massaged my mother with anal beads. FML

by DanniRae / 03/13/2009 at 9:48am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML

by girlmeetsworld / 02/18/2009 at 6:27pm / United States (New York) / Kids