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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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NathanKett

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NathanKett
  • Town/Country : New Zealand
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1032
  • Number of comments : 67
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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NathanKett's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband was looking at a bariatric surgery website and asked him what he was reading. He said, "Oh, your anniversary gift. Surprise!" He wasn't kidding. He got mad when I politely declined his gift, then angrily said "You know, it really hurts when you don't like the things I get you." FML

#13794199 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (13182) - you deserved it (2646)

On 11/10/2010 at 8:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, at a restaurant, I was joking around trying to make my friend laugh by pretending to be a ninja. I did this by putting my napkin in front of my face. I happened to look over at another table and saw that a lady wearing a burqa was giving me the most evil glare I have ever seen in my life. FML

#12768878 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (16996) - you deserved it (13262)

On 08/27/2010 at 5:46am - misc - by CrushAdrenaline - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was cutting the grass on my riding mower. I spent a good 3 hours working on it. When I finished, I got off and went to take a look. It looked the same as when I started. I then realized that I hadn't lowered the mower part. I spent 3 hours just driving around. FML

#11986372 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (12814) - you deserved it (45227)

On 07/19/2010 at 4:48pm - misc - by Dumbfounded - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the guy I liked for years asked me out. I instantly said yes. As I was walking away, I forgot I was at the top of the stairs and feel down 20 steps. He stood at the top and laughed. FML

#8837679 (88)

I agree, your life sucks (14374) - you deserved it (3775)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:24am - love - by harro101 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML

#6421239 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (23538) - you deserved it (2805)

On 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by sickkid (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was feeling a little racy and decided to send my boyfriend some naked pictures of myself. He responded, "That's OK, but does your face have to be in them?" FML

#6415998 (47)

I agree, your life sucks (13007) - you deserved it (2758)

On 11/23/2009 at 12:07am - intimacy - by denise (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was baking cookies and opened the oven door to check on them. Apparently, wearing a gold necklace means the wave of heat will burn your very fair skin. I now have a bright red ring of stars around my neck. FML

#6367653 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (14392) - you deserved it (4167)

On 11/19/2009 at 11:41am - misc - by Sam_Licker81 (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend whom I love dearly because he doesn't share his feelings and won't commit. Yesterday, he wrote me a long love letter telling me he wanted to marry me. One of my kids had shoved it under my printer and I didn't find it until after he had moved out. FML

#6335376 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (22814) - you deserved it (6757)

On 11/16/2009 at 11:13pm - misc - by lynxstorm - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned why my bathroom has a horrible, seemingly irremovable stench. My cat doesn't squat to pee like a normal cat. She stands up, peeing over the side of the litter tray all over the wall and floor, which are now a permanent yellow tinge. FML

#6078345 (68)

I agree, your life sucks (16735) - you deserved it (3390)

On 10/31/2009 at 12:34am - animals - by catwoman (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 5 year old daughter figured out how to use the microwave, microwaving my brand new 3G iphone. It was completely wrecked. So was the microwave. FML

#6078140 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (24138) - you deserved it (4351)

On 10/31/2009 at 12:22am - kids - by Mike (man) - United Kingdom (Blackpool)

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

#5286193 (192)

I agree, your life sucks (19312) - you deserved it (3441)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, a fax came in at work for a specific job, and I asked the owner of the company who it was for. He replied "the round one", so I handed it to our rotund Project Manager. Apparently the owner meant the garbage can, not my fat co-worker. Now i'm the asshole of the office. FML

#3774043 (79)

I agree, your life sucks (13518) - you deserved it (27177)

On 07/15/2009 at 1:24pm - work - by kjcarey123 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML

#56665 (529)

I agree, your life sucks (141725) - you deserved it (53042)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)