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NandaPanda

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NandaPanda
  • Town/Country : Red Bank, USA
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 April 1996 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 2813
  • Number of comments : 91
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 51 posted

About NandaPanda : My name is Mandi =)
I learned about FML through my fiancé, and fell in love with the hilariousness. Now I read FML everyday, usually because I have nothing better to do. My FML idols are Perdix and DocBastard.

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Perfectionist

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

50 quality responses

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NandaPanda's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories sake". FML

#21115090
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26067) - you deserved it (1922)

On 04/16/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by exasperated (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML

#21114779
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27726) - you deserved it (2221)

On 04/16/2014 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by MILF (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I met up with an old friend of mine who acts in a TV show. I hadn't seen him in a long time, but I'd been watching episodes of the show almost daily, so when he showed up I could only see him as his TV character and not as my friend. I ended up calling him by his character's name. FML

#21114249
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29583) - you deserved it (8546)

On 04/16/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Confused (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML

#21113687
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35763) - you deserved it (4875)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38219) - you deserved it (4422)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I realized that my boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that my body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matter what we're doing. FML

#21111720
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33965) - you deserved it (3231)

On 04/13/2014 at 5:33am - love - by Ticklish - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML

#21111270
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38177) - you deserved it (5645)

On 04/12/2014 at 5:01pm - animals - by princess (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend, his response was, "I'll start watching pregnant porn to build up an attraction to it." FML

#21110801
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36980) - you deserved it (5109)

On 04/12/2014 at 1:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I'm in the process of adopting a child. When I called my mom to tell her the news, she just said, "Oh honey, don't adopt, it's the worst decision you'll ever make." I'm adopted. FML

#21110479
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40457) - you deserved it (2433)

On 04/11/2014 at 5:58pm - kids - by babylove - South Africa

Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML

#21110266
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36295) - you deserved it (2524)

On 04/11/2014 at 12:38pm - misc - by Cuntlette (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my neighbor asked to come over and use my laptop. She showed up drunk, grabbed my boobs, and asked if I'd ever had a lesbian experience. We both have husbands and kids; the kids were in the room. FML

#21109873
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38967) - you deserved it (3422)

On 04/10/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by freakedout (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML

#21108665
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34374) - you deserved it (5395)

On 04/09/2014 at 5:12pm - intimacy - by damn (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57007) - you deserved it (27185)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML

#21108567
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36033) - you deserved it (4793)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by Max - United States

Today, I had to show a new student around my school. Normally, that wouldn't be such a bad thing, but the student was my crazy, overly-attached ex. I transferred schools to get away from her in the first place. FML

#21108356
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39707) - you deserved it (2838)

On 04/09/2014 at 8:37am - misc - by not_this_shit_again (man) - Singapore



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