Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About Nanall : For all the pervs: Don't hit on me. I'm not or will I ever be interested in you. I'm here to laugh. Not to roll my eyes at your pathetic attempt to make me like you.
For all those who were just curious, read on.
Life is like a chess game, you need to plan your next five moves.
Candy, sex, games, food, and sleep = perfect day.
I refuse to believe everything I've been told.
If you have enough time to argue online and correct someone's grammar, I believe that's not having a life, friends, and people who generally care about you. I feel sad for you.
I absolutely love hot dogs and junk food.
Make me laugh and you'll win me over.
Don't message me unless you got something worth saying.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and badly needed to pee. Just as I was about to say I had to go to the bathroom, my boyfriend suddenly put his hands around my stomach and picked me up. He hit just the right spot, causing me to empty my bladder then and there. FML
Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." FML
Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML
Today, I walked into my house to find everyone sitting around the table and looking sad. I thought it would be a good time to crack a joke and said "What's wrong? Grandma finally die?" Turns out she had. FML
Wednesday 28 January 2015