About NamelessNeko : Underpaid fast food restaurant assistant manager. Nothing more to see here, move along...
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NamelessNeko's favorite FMLs
by weirded out / 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML
by Face fucking palm / 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. I accidentally reversed while still in the driveway, and I instinctively hit the brakes. In my panic, I accidentally let go of the brakes, and ended up reversing straight into our house, all while my father yelled "NOOOOOO!" FML
by Anonymous / 01/02/2014 at 4:50pm / Puerto Rico / Miscellaneous
Today, I took an extra xanax to help with my anxiety, then went to sleep. I guess it was probably too much, because I woke up a few hours later, freaking out and panicking because I was convinced I was a bee trapped in a human body. FML
by beemove / 12/28/2013 at 4:19pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by fartz / 08/31/2013 at 2:04am / United States / Miscellaneous
by L / 10/16/2012 at 6:59pm / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy
by shorty4 / 07/13/2012 at 10:36am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, my daughter's hamster pulled the water bottle off the glass, so I decided to super-glue the bottle back on. We came back an hour later to see if it had stuck, only to find both the bottle and rodent glued to the glass. FML
Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML
by Anonymous / 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy
by Scared / 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet. A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML
by Snickers / 05/12/2012 at 12:27am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML
by cockblocked / 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love
Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML
by wtf is wrong with my country / 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Optimus_Prime97 / 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm / United States / Money
- Today, I’m a French teacher abroad, and as my beard has a huge hole near my chin, my students call… Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was…